Top Ten List: Ben Roethlisberger in the Super Bowl

Top Ten Reasons for Big Ben's Sub-Par Performance in the Super Bowl

10. He kept thinking he saw Adam Sandler on the sidelines, warming up.
9. He was macking on one of the Seattle Gals cheerleaders.
8. Ben has actually been dead for two weeks, that was Tommy "What color shirts do our guys wear" Maddox in disguise.
7. Terry Bradshaw spiked his gatorade.
6. Kid Rock bet him a night with the white trash porn star of his choice that he wouldn't throw two interceptions on national TV.
5. His bionic hand was malfunctioning.
4. He wanted to make Jerome Bettis look good, but that damn Hines Ward had to steal the spotlight.
3. Quitcherbitchin...we won.
2. Takes the pressure off for next year's Super Bowl.

and the #1 reason why Big Ben Roethlisberger turned in a sub-par performance in this week's Super Bowl?

1. Seattle had spies hidden in his beard.