Tuesday evening...and things are moving...

Just heard an online radio dedication...to me, from my niece, Crystal...will try and get you all a link a bit later.

Made some trial covers for CPC...wow...the model I may be fortunate enough to use nails the physicality and essence of the abstract panther perfectly. If we can close a deal, this is fantastic. If she gives the word, I'll post the cover...and start including her name and image in all references to the book. Her presence certainly reinforces the erotic romanticism of the works.

Have not heard from Brigit yet today...but she sometimes pushes deadlines to the last minute.

Robert is convinced that Peri is reading our blogs...has even posted a message to her on his...I think he's crazy...

Tag is finishing his contribution to "The Morgantown Suite Poems" and it should go to the publisher tomorrow for proofing.

Dad just decided that it is too hot to go out on the hill and spray the garden tonight. That's good, I am still mightily fatigued and my cough/tightness in my chest has returned...probably nothing, but yes, I know the symptoms could be foreshadowing of something really bad...but wtf can I do about it, anyway? My twisted sense of humour feeds on the possibility...

Tuesday morning meander

Okay, I'm awake now. I've actually been up for about two hours...but I was achy and slightly disoriented from exhaustion (you clear a meadow, drive for eight hours, edit three books, write two others, engage in light hearted banter with various friends and admirers AND rework the heavens and the earth...see how tired you are.

I did admit to Anastacia that I am seeing this next year as kind of my ballistic trajectory year. I spent too much energy and attention on things in the last several years unrelated to my writings, so for the next several months, that's my focus...I'm climbing into the catapult, aiming for the tower, and cutting the cord...I will reach the battlements...or make a large, crimson stain on the wall.

My thoughts are still chaotic (imagine what I might have accomplished if I didn't think like an adult-ADD drug advertisement on television...nothing, actually. We have reached the time in our social evolution when anyone who has anything resembling a personality needs medication. Sorry, boys and girls, I like thinking faster than most. Yes, there are drawbacks, just as birds give up bone density for flight, but I've seen normalcy. C.S. Lewis was right. Most people are failed experiments.)

Seeing the boys just made me miss Peri more. Dante wasn't feeling well, but he was game and cheerful. Elric was...Elric...constantly engaged in being constantly engaged in any conversation taking place, anywhere. Totally adorable, both of them.

I am considering, after my physical collapse in August-September, putting together a wedding present for Brian (I like him, aI think they are both very fortunate) and Peri...seeing how "101 Great Love Poems" (go and buy it, now...you must go and buy it, now) has been so successful as a gift book for graduates and people getting married, I am considering doing a book of just wedding poems, targeted to people not only as a gift book, but as a book of poems suitable to be read or recited at weddings. Then, sign over the royalties to them. That may be pocket change...or, if the spark of my arc catches (and I do make it to the battlements) it could be worth a lot. I am daily beaten down by the fact that I have been unable to do for Peri all I want to...

Oh, and a shout out to NIN (Nine Inch Nails)...I heard about your cancelling your MTV Awards gig over political issues. You'd think a channel that has the gall to tell twelve year olds they need to be pimpin' and humping on camera would have the cajones to allow free speech. I guess the suits are gutless, as usual. I'll just do what any responsible citizen will do...vote with my feet and my wallet. I'm, personally, boycotting MTV. They have gone from vanguard to vasectomy. All dick, no kick. They're off my cable remote. And I personally will not miss them, as they have so gone down in quality in the last several years, turning their back on the music (they should be called LTV for "lame").

...and they'r in the home stretch...

My schedule has me delivering the final text of "The Morgantown Suite Poems" tomorrow...final edits are underway...

"The Complete Panther Cycles" is looking solid...I'm just mucking with some stylistic touches as I await my intros from key players.

Ate real food today...have been on hard-core Atkins for about two weeks...and needed the break...now onto the exercis portion of the training (oh, joy)

Good trip coming back today...saw Maryland State Troopers about every ten miles in that state, pulling cars over...I think the state made their budget for next year in speeding tickets today.

I see where Dick Cheney is offended that Amnesty International would dare point out what arrogant, self-righteous morons we've become - by daring to mention humane treatment of prisoners. Yeah, Dick, get offended...I can assure you that the people who got ripped off by your corporate contacts and the parents of kids killed in Iraq all think you are a pillar of moral values.

Is it 2008 yet?

remembering

Today is Memorial Day...a day fundamentally given to remembering our war dead, although I know many who expand it to all veterans who have died, all veterans or all dead, period.

It is to the memories of these men and women we solemnly dedicate this day, both as a reminder of them and a reminder to us to never place those willing to make such a sacrifice in harms' way for foolish or vain reasons. It dishonors them and it makes of us a less worthy people.

I'll be heading back to Morgantown today, sore all over, a bit redder of complexion...and my eyes (actually the skin around the eyes) are mildly swollen, probably due a combination of the suburn and some pollen I've encountered...I look my age today.

Mari Laureano, my friend, and quite clearly one of the best poets of pure feral eroticism out there, has been one of the first to place a "Pantherization" banner on their site. I have to start the link page today when I get back...going to be a long day. Lots to do after the drive (3-4 hours depending on traffic).

Barring any real impediment, I will go to the AEI's booklaunch reception and press conference. I have been quick to volunteer my services for them in the past, and I think they should have as many of the fabulous fifty as possible there.

Even though it is still 14 months away, I am very excited at the prospect of Peri and Brian's wedding next year. I hope to be able to help out in some way. They deserve the best possible launch.

the yard is again a yard

after massive effort, and a little assist from my ex-wife, we finally have a yard behind her house for the boys to play in, again.

I was shocked by how bad it was, weeds reaching and passing the five foot high mark...no trail of any kind...but we reclaimed about 90% of it on this pass, marred only by a late session bee that stung Jan on her right eyelid...she's okay...unlike me, she is not allergic.

had a nice time with the boys. Dante is so smart...and Elric is a total charmer...

Well, I need a shower before my hosts return home...don't want to stink them out of the place.

Life is good, but you have to be ready to embrace the good to really make it our own.

Back to the books tomorrow...

Sunday, and the sky is blue

Had dinner yesterday with my boys (and my first ex). They were all great to hang with...I have to admit it makes the absence of my daughter from my life (we are estranged) more painful, though.

We had dinner at the Hard Times Cafe, where I had not eaten in several years. Dante experimented with different ways to eat cornbread, some highly impractical...Elric demonstrated his fondness for catsup by putting it on everything (a marked difference between him and my daughter, Peri, who despises catsup).

I spent the night with Tony and Anastacia. Ana was a good friend when I lived in LA and has remained loyal throughtout the years (she was unabashedly opposed to my second marriage, and her criticisms were fairly well borne out by history...)

I have a day in front of me...I will be doing what I can to tame the yard of the house I bought, then gave away in my first divorce...bittersweet to a large degree, but it needs done and this seemed like an excellent excuse to come see the boys.

Also, an excellent break from working on the books. Burnout looming, I have done more in the last few months than most will do in a lifetime...sometimes I wonder if I preconsciously am trying to make up for wasted days, or if I am just reawakening and full of energy...

a long Saturday stretches out before me...

(rubbing eyes) damn, it's morning. Actually, I've been up for nigh onto an hour...my body, after necessary sleep has been accomplished, does not let me go back to sleep if I awaken earlier than necessary. Another of nature's little jokes...I'm a bit groggy and have a mild headache, and being able to sleep another hour or two would be nice...but, you can't have it all.

I am going to help my brother Mark move some stuff from storage today (hey, I remember when I had stuff in storage. I can remember when I had stuff! Now, all I possess can practically be carried in a gym bag. Beware of locusts, especially pretty ones. They pick you clean.)

Then I have to prep for my trip, then I have to drive four hours to the DC area to see my boys. I'd love to get started on the lawn for my ex, but she has said no, on religious grounds (she keeps the Sabbath, unlike most Americans who just try not to get too drunk on it). As much as I'd like to get around it, I do have to respect that she is one of the few people I've ever gotten close to with a clearly defined religious coda. Vastly superior to lip service or pew-warming. She is willing to be inconvenienced by her beliefs. That's rare. Terrifyingly rare.

Gonna spend the night with Anastacia and her hubby. Haven't met him yet, but by all account he's a good guy...you owe it to your friends to accept their choices for spouses.

Then, tomorrow I am going to spend the day trying to put a dent in the wild meadow that was once a back yard at a house I once bought (and gave away, in the name of love and peace). There is no way it can be as shaggy as it has been painted for me, so I guess I'll just have to see what is what.)

Oh? You want to know what's up with the books? Me, too. Actually, I'm happy to report that both are in good shape. I have to make final prep of "The Morgantown Suite Poems" on Monday so that I can have a few copies to deliver to Arts Mon and do some kind of event for the local library to flag the book.

Sanity check:
June 9th...Peri's birthday and the release of the book.
June 10th...Toastmasters meeting (okay, not too bad)
June 11th...High school reunion
JUne 14th...and old friend's "birthday" (if she reads this, she'll know)
June 16th...release of "Art&Soul" from the Appalachian Education Initiative. From their website (so I assume it is rock solid) comes this list of the artists profiled:

Maggie Anderson – poet – grew up in WV
Michael Cervaris – actor/musician – from Huntington
Ted Cassidy (Lurch) ** -- actor – grew up in Philippi area
Stephen Coonts – author – grew up in Buckhannon
Diane Curry – musician (opera) – grew up in White Sulphur Springs
William Francis DeVault (!!)– poet – grew up in Morgantown
Little Jimmy Dickens – county music singer – grew up in Bolt
Paul Dooley – actor – from Parkersburg
Brad Dourif -- actor – grew up in Huntington
Joanne Dru ** -- actress – grew up in Logan
Jennifer Garner – actress – grew up in Charleston
Henry Louis Gates, Jr. – author – from Piedmont
Denise Giardina – author – grew up in McDowell Co.
Homer Hickam – author – grew up in Coalwood
Kermit Hunter ** -- playwright – grew up in Welch
Johnnie Johnson – pianist – grew up in Fairmont
Lawrence Kasdan – director – grew up in Morgantown
Becky Wilson Kelly – author/illustrator of children’s books – grew up in St. Albans
Don Knotts – actor – grew up in Morgantown
Blanche Lazzell ** -- visual artist – grew up near Maidsville
William Robinson Leigh ** -- visual artist – grew up at Falling Waters
Chester Lester – songwriter – grew up in Charleston
Ann Magnuson – actress/singer/performer – grew up in Charleston
Peter Marshall – actor – from Huntington
Kathy Mattea – country music singer – grew up in Cross Lanes
Charlie McCoy – musician (harmonica, guitar, trumpet) – grew up in Fayetteville
Irene McKinney – poet – grew up in Barbour Co.
Louise McNeill ** -- poet – grew up in Buckeye, Pocahontas Co.
Beth McVey– broadway actor – grew up in Huntington
J. Mark McVey – broadway actor – grew up in Huntington
Lou Myers – actor – grew up in Chesapeake
Devon Odessa – actress – from Parkersburg
Brad Paisley – county music singer – grew up in Glen Dale
Squire Parsons – singer – grew up near Newton in Roane Co.
Michael K. Paxton – visual artist – grew up in Logan Co.
Jayne Anne Phillips – author – grew up in Buckhannon
Rachel Proctor – country music singer/songwriter – grew up in Kanawha Co.
Soupy Sales – comedian/actor – grew up in Huntington
Chris Sarandon – actor – grew up in Beckley
David Selby – actor – grew up in Morgantown
Michael W. Smith – singer (Christian singer/songwriter) – grew up in Kenova
Christopher Sperandio -- visual artist – grew up in Kingwood
Morgan Spurlock – filmmaker – from Beckley
Buddy Starcher ** -- country music singer – grew up in Kentuck and Craigsville
Eleanor Steber ** -- singer (soprano) – grew up in Wheeling
Beverly Van Hook -- author – grew up in Huntington
Clyde Ware – movie director/TV script writer/novelist – grew up in West Union
Billy Edd Wheeler – country songwriter – grew up in Whitesville
Don Whitlatch – visual artist (painter) – grew up in WV
Melvin Wine** – fiddle player – from Braxton County
Bill Withers – musician – from Slab Fork

The ones marked with the (**) are deceased. Those marked with (!!) are me. If you want more information on this project, visit the website at:
Art and Soul.

June 20th: We open pre-ordering on "The Compleat Panther Cycles"

July is a blur right now...definitely on scheduling overload for the summer.

Okay, people, get out there and make a difference. And be careful out there.

what a day

Got tons done...made new mods to the official Panther Cycles page (check them out at Pantherization).

I was messing around with my music earlier, listening to a few songs...and Meatloaf's "I Would Do Anything for Love" hit me in a manner previously unknown to me...the end part, sung by Mrs. Loud, (and wonderfully lip synched by that lingerie model in the video) hit me as very descriptive of my last marriage. Some fo the lines could've been said by me, some by her. All in all, emotionally wrecking, but a good catharsis.

Had some technical troubles with the master for the book...but my brother Mark came to the rescue.

Going to go see my boys tomorrow. That's a good thing.

Got my invite to the AEI's "Press Conference and Reception" next month for their book "Art&Soul"...I am considering going...don't know who else will be there, but I feel obligated. And I think it might be apropos.

Just a brief note regarding the books...

deific and ascendent

Back in the day, when the Writers Club on America Online ruled the earth (or so it seemed, I was daily mixing with people off the New York Times Best Seller List or genre authors of remarkable talent and following) and Wired Magazine had declared the Cafe in the Writers Club as the best place on the internet for cybersex, I was a god, or at least played one on the internet.

Going back to some of the people I knew then for their contributions to "The Complete Panther Cycles" has been a buzz, and reminded me of what I used to answer when asked in chat "How are you?"...

"Deific and ascendent" was always my answer. Translated: Godlike and getting stronger every minute.

Somewhere, the god (small "g") slipped into the shadows. Or, more like, the shadows took me. The brutal terms of my first divorce, which I engineered for the most part in a Quixotic attempt to do the right thing all around, did not derail my following...it followed me to Los Angeles.

But after my second marriage, the Prince of Love, the Poet Knight, the Romantic Poet of the Internet (have I every really thanked you guys and gals at Yahoo for giving me that sobriquet back in 1996? I will.)...I got distracted (something Ani DiFranco said at one point when love songs seemed to be drowning out her politically-charged rhetoric) and gladly gave myself over to something I believed in (even if I was the only one...the number of friends and family who walked (or were pushed) away over issues in my second marriage is staggering. More than a year after the separation, six months after the divorce, I am still sweeping up bodies, and some bonds will not be reforged.)

So, I am back. The dryad of "Love Gods of the Forgotten Religon" is gone (do you think I chose that cover at random? Stephanie Fenter gave me a perfectly appropriate and subtly multi-layered allegory with that picture. Thanks Steph, love ya.) And I am, to quote myself "one with the clouds" again.

Listening to the awe the cycles inspire in Tag. Hearing Brigit reminisce about the effect reading those works for the first time had on her (largely involving shedding of clothes, as I recall with great happiness) and talking with Barbara Holmes, TwisterB of the Writers Club, who has just joined the chorus writing pieces for the collection...hearing her talk about the phenomenon they were in that cynical sphere of real writers (and a few horny wannabes). It is humbling, believe it or not, as I am not the man who writes these works, they inhabit me...it is a talent, a gift, a curse that I did not earn or yearn for. It does not make me a better person to be "the dragon" whose fiery breath is amotations and eloquences, it is merely a confession of who and what I am.

Evolution is a fact, but I am the result of intelligent design of a Higher Power, even if that Higher Power must certainly have one hell of a mean sense of humour to give me this weapon.

And, again, I am on the path. Deific and ascendent. And this time, resolute.

Red fur, blue collars and arts all, folks!

What a day...and it is only noontime here.

Spoke with people from both the Appalachian Education Initiative and Arts Monongahela this morning. Everything still seems on track and I will be working with ArtsMon in the next few days to start cycling up the local publicity on "The Morgantown Suite Poems". Should be fun!

Got some notes from Dan McTaggart, the blue collar poet who is writing one of the intros to "The Compleat Panther Cycles" for me. It is nice to know that people still squirm when they read the 10th cycle...it is erotically charged and very evocative.

And I spent a length of the morning in exchange with the other locked-in introduction writer for the CPCs...this name may mean nothing to you unless you are a regular reader of my poetry, or from the olden days...but

Brigit

has come out of retirement. Yes, the "Goddess of Fire and Poetry" and "the Crimson Panther" has resurfaced to write a rather brilliant introduction to the works. Although I can't say enough about how "catty" some of her statements regarding her predecessor are. Such is life. Predatory felines will be predatory felines.

For those of you who missed her, Brigit is the unbroken totem-mask of the muse that immediately followed the original panther, and was only named that because of a dream I had, sometimes referred to as "the dream of the three panthers, dancing" wherein I was in a featureless room, hearing old-time carousel music... around me, floating above the floor and circling, were three identical panthers, one of ebony, one of crimson and one of gold. I was very perplexed...then the music stopped and all three smiled at me at once, as if to say that I had to make some sort of decision or take some sort of action...I hesitated...and the music started back up...I awoke feeling that my indecision would have dreadul consequences.

Many have later assigned the "golden panther" to "the leopard" my ex-wife Ann. An I have, to this point, accepted these three women, each unique in her own right, as the logical symbols of the dream...only time will tell, if even it breaks silence.

Anywho, it was a delight to spend some time in the company of someone who knows the process of creativity as well as Brigit does (not without purpose did I brand her "Goddess") as most people I have known seem to limit their knowledge of the arts to "Write me something." It gets tedious being a performing dog for people when they snap their fingers.

Anyway, Brigit stands of her own accord and I look forward to further collaborations with her. I am glad to have her back in my sphere.

The Tribe at 35...and drunken students

Another new one from "The Morgantown Suite Poems"...

The Tribe + 35

The scent of patchouli and strawberry,
Mixed with sandalwood and coconut.
A metaphor…or a mistake, taking shape
In the mind of the lost soul, freedom
As a new religion.

Walls decorated with pointed images
Of war and peace and love and music.
Lennon and cartoon mating ducks,
Trying to find some shelter in times
Of great uncertainty.

Now, you are a bar. Where truth is sought
But never caught, in the bottom
Of a bottle, youthful exuberance
For pointless protests, une generation perdue,
True only to its self.


William F. DeVault. all rights reserved.

The Tribe was a headshop, on the edge of campus (West Virginia University), the first building in the notorious "Sunnyside" area that became, for a time, the bar zone for campus. A friend of mine worked there and I went in there once or twice to look around. I was a very cloistered and conservative young man, so I was never into that whole scene, except in my head. The intense smells of the incenses, the clothes, posters, music, books...it all seemed like some exotic distant planet.

Now, it is just another faceless place for underage students to get drunk. No matter how you feel about the tide of conservatism in this country, it is hard to look at the crowds in any of Morgantown's bar districts (they now have a few) on a Friday or Saturday night and feel any sense of hope for America or belief in the moral superiority of the American way of life.

The Pantherization work has begun...Lord, I've bitten off, not more than I can chew, but a certain mouthful.

long day, resonances abound

Tomorrow is, I believe, the 1 year anniversary of my leaving Missisippi...things have pretty much played out in that arena as anticipated. Sigh. What can you do? Many of my personal effects, my yearbooks, certain personal artifacts, as well as my coffin, are missing and presumed lost forever, but I lost something more important to me...a friend. And, as much as I have messed some things in my life up, even she admitted to me that this was not of my doing. For us guys in the habit of wearing leotards and jumping over buildings, having to stand aside while disaster rolls by is not an easy task.

Spent a busy day working on various writing/editing and publicity projects. I've never been busier. Did take a few hours off this evening to watch the season finale of "Lost"...damn. For once I think I understood the whole episode.

Tag dropped me a line and let me know what he thought about his first exposure to the more erotic cycles from the P'cycles...yep, definitely not for the kiddies...I probably need to come up with some sort of parental advisory for the cover...which will serve two purposes: 1) Gets me off the hook with anyone complaining and 2) increases sales. Who says you can't win 'em all?

I've dropped any thought of using the model I'd spoken with, and now have put a couple of the ancilliary material writers on notice. Don't have time to wait for others. Get on the train or get out of the way (I told that to Ann once, she never listened...and she was a good bit more dear to me than just about anyone I have ever dealt with).

Will be going to Virginia this weekend to do some yard work for Jan, and to visit with the boys. I'll be staying with friends (hey, only recently I have been allowed back in the house because I made the mistake of commenting on the status of the housecleaning...) Shakespeare was right about life.

It's not that there are more evil people than good people in the world. It's that there are so many more gutless people in the world. Cowardice is considered a virtue.

When I think of virtue, I mean real moral character, integrity, self-sacrifice. Everybody is so damned busy trying to save their own skins that they only prolong the test, because life isn't about life.

But no matter how many times the fable of the scorpion and the frog is acted out...I'll still stop to lend a hand.

The Runaway Bride Case and the Trivialization of the Law

It's nice to know in a country where millions live in fear and we are supposedly under a constant threat of terrosism, as well as the usual death, rape and drugs stats, that your and my tax dollars can still be used for something that will help my children sleep better at night: Prosecuting a runaway bride.

Yes, the DA down in Gwinnett County, Georgia, has gotten an indictment against Jennifer Wilbanks. Good to know in a country where 10 year old girls are trading sexual favours for Meth Ice, one in three American women can expected to be raped at some point in her life, nearly twenty thousand will die this year in alcohol and marijuana related traffic accidents and an entire generation is growing up convinced that it's okay to attack a sovreign nation (as long as it is us doing the attacking, not someone else) we can still spend millions of dollars of our tax money giving British Tabloid Billionaire Rupert Murdoch more trash TV stories to obscure anything of real consequence for the couch potatoes who still get to vote, no matter who anesthetized to the truth they become.

They won't get a conviction, they're wasting their time, our money and just giving media more marshmallow to push the meat off the front pages and openings of whatever ratings-over-reality TV network you watch.

They should indict the prosecutor's office in Gwinnett County, Georgia, for abuse of privilege, wasting public monies and just plain stupidity (is that illegal, yet?)

getting the world Pantherized

Launched the "pre-ad campaign ad campaign" for "The Compleat Panther Cycles" on a whim this morning......

Would love feedback!

I'm alive! hold it, let me double-check

I ache all over from helping my brother, Mark, move for two days...I'm getting old (Maggie says that's not true, and I respect her opinion, because she is an attractive female...but the clock doesn't lie). But aging is not cause for sorrow, it is pretty good, compared to the alternative, which too many people I have known and loved have already accomplished. I don't fear death, just the loss of opportunity to help others...yeah, this had lead me into great codependence in the past, but I'd rather be used than a user.

I was in bed last night when I realized that I had not done an audio post, so I dialed in via my cell and did an impromptu reading of "Gobins In My Attic", which is included in INVOCATO...a nice, short, meaningful poem about the creative impulse. I love teaching it to audiences and having them do it along with me.

Got word of the annual Morgantown High School Class of 1973 Reunion for this year. It's a couple of weeks earlier than I would've liked it to be, but what can you do, eh? It falls midway between the release of "The Morgantown Suite Poems" on June 9th (my daughter's birthday) and the release of the AEI's "Art&Soul" on June 13th. Do the math.

Was so delighted with the cover I designed for "The Compleat Panther Cycles" that I dropped even the notion of working with a model (especially since the one in New York who had seemed so gung-ho about the whole idea seems to have dropped contact. A shame, as she would've been perfect for it...but in all obstacles there are opportunities, and out of this came the new cover, which the advisory board seems to be thrilled by. As the Panther herself would've said: Fab!)

Also, being the nutcase that I am, the more aspects of the product that I do, the happier I am (if I were ever in the film industry, I'd be one of those annoying "slashes" - you know, "actor/director/writer/producer/caterer/fluffer" - do they use male fluffers for actresses or does it only work the other way (despite having met some people in the amusingly euphemistic "adult film industry" when I was in LA, I am pretty ignorant about how it all works, and I really don't care to learn.)

Goblins In My Attic (read late at night)

poem for today

Also from "The Morgantown Suite" this poem is called "Krepps Park After Dark"

Krepps Park, After Dark
(for Beth)


A metaphor for memory.
A game that lovers play.
Do you recall when shadows fall
what were the words to say?

Too young to know the answers.
Too old to play the fool.
Lips on lips. Hands on hips.
Curiosity, our tool.

Still reaching for our limits.
Still testing every rule.
Thoughts, impure, meet hands, unsure,
and a girl from Catholic school.


William F. DeVault. all rights reserved.

If I get enough requests, I mist release the new cover for "The Compleat Panther Cycles" this week, exclusively on here.

Tuesday Morning...ouch

Back and shoulders are killing me, I spent most of the day yesterday helping Mark move...still much to be done this morning...will be taking some lumps for this.

Designed a completed cover for "The Compleat Panther Cycles" yesterday, in my spare time...it is incredible (to my tastes) let's hear it, again, for photoshop...the model I was negotiating with in new York fell off the edge of the world. No word from her in two weeks, despite my request, twice, to be told when the books I sent her (signed and of some material value anyway) arrived. I am annoyed. I did manage to contact someone who is assisteing her...but still no silence. I don't have time to wait for other people (I did it for seven years...no more!)

Will post a poem from the book later today, as well as do an audio blog post.

Very pleased to see that the grown ups in the Senate worked out a deal on the filibuster. There are still a few members of the Republican Party with some shame and sense of civic duty.

it worked!

Just had a successful audioblogger post...you can hear it below...or, if you take this as an RSS feed, you'll have to go to cityoflegends.blogspot.com to hear it...it is of "the Unicorns" which was composed in 1973 and has become one of my best known works, certainly.

It's a bit of a reflection on the loss of innocence, how we all crave that, while still wishing the unicorns would remain, that we could be on both sides of the great divide between childhood and adulthood, between the innocent and the sensual. One editor once told me that Shakespeare would envy the smoothness of the meter...not being a huge fan of Willy, myself, I still took that as a compliment, as he was a master craftsman.

Gotta go grab a shower before I go give make-up finals at MTEC. And...the season finale of "24" is tonight (I've already read the spoilers at www.televisionwithoutpity.com but I still want to watch it)...arguably one of the best acted, written and directed shows on television (certainly one of the three best on network broadcast television, and to my tastes the ten best shows right now on televison are: Rescue Me, The Shield, Nip/Tuck, 24, The West Wing, Lost, The Sopranos, Deadwood, The Daily Show and Six Feet Under). Although I love reality shows like Survivor and Project Greenlight, I don't put them in the same bucket.

Pretty damn good company.

The Unicorns

Poem for the day: Monday, May 23, 2005

This is from my new book, coming out next month, "The Morgantown Suite Poems":

Making Out at the Blue Horizon


A private luxury suite for two in the back
While the couple in the front had to make do
With the hump that all but forced them
To go horizontal at first kiss.
Be it Ricky Nelson or Don Knotts or Linda Blair
We weren’t there for the entertainment
Being projected on the screen,
But what passed between teenaged lovers
Trying hard to find out what they weren’t
Supposed to be teaching us about
In Mrs. Watts' biology class.


William F. DeVault. all rights reserved.
www.cityoflegends.com
--------------------
To explain and expand:

Near Morgantown there were three Drive-In Theaters...the Westover, the Maple Leaf and the Blue Horizon.

The Westover was more of a family place, and the Maple Leaf was the local passion pit...but they ticked me off when Reagan was shot and they ran a festival of Jody Foster films, each one renamed to be more prurient ("Carny" became "Carnival Tease", for instance) and billed her as "the woman men would kill for". So I don't give them any more props than I have to...although I did see "The Ghost and Mr. Chicken" there, which featured Morgantown's own Don Knotts, as well as "Love and Kisses" with Ricky Nelson.

I worked briefly as an usher at a local cinema that was owned by the same guy who owned the Blue Horizon, and one of my jobs was to change the marquee weekly. Regardless of weather. And I worked there during the winter...I did it once during an ice storm. No fun, and he was a major horse's rectum.

Mrs. Watts was my 10th grade bio teacher, and I got the sense she wasn't comfortable doing the "sex education" portion of the curriculum. In my class she assigned that to the totally babe student teacher. It was...interesting. But more about that some other time.

I only double dated once at the drive in. I drove. The backseat couple got the most privacy, for sure...and I was only on the date as a condition of my cousin going out with a friend of my brother's...and I had zero interest in this girl. So we sat stiffly in the front seat while the noises from the back seat were barely drowned out by the movie. A little later on I loaned my car to my brother to go to the drive in, and it came back with damage to the vent controls on the dash...clearly caused by people maneuvering around "the hump".

Tsk tsk.

Out of the Silent PLanet

The audioblogger issue is still going strong, about 24 hours after I first noted it. I dropped a problem report email to blooger.com yesterday afternoon, but have not received a response to it. To reiterate, audioblogger.com still is not coming up (it was there Saturday!) and the phone number for actually leaving an audio blog merely sits quietly for a few seconds, then you get a busy signal.

I suppose it is always possible that the site and service have been overwhelmed by calls and hits lately...but at this point all I know is nothing happens.

Hung out with Jezz, online, until late last night...had slept badly Friday night and needed to stay awake as late as possible so I'd crash when I finally got to bed. It worked. Hit the pillow like a rock (despite the fact AMC had "Animal House" on) and slept like the dead, with the notable exception that I woke up.

I have three renegade students from tonight's class who still need to take the final. If any of them do not show tonight, they flunk the class. Tomorrow I have two students in the same boat. All my Wednesday night students (the writing class) did their thing and turned in their portfolios. Seven "A's" and 3 "B's"...I am satisfied with the progress all of them made. Truth be told, two of the B's were within 2 points of an "A"...the other was due to a single tank job on the portfolio. Everyone seems to love the class and there seems to be a strong consensus to have me teach writing again this fall.

Tag is moving forward with his book "Midnight Muse..." and I think it will be terrific. His is a very different voice than mine, very blue collar in worldview. His poems have a more modernist slant than mine, structurally. I think one of the reasons we can work together as easily as we do is that we're really not competing.

We're cogitating on a contest idea. We know the when and prize, but not the what. The winner would receive a complete set of my books, and they would be hand delivered, by me, at the time of a reading to be scheduled by the winner. The reading could be a private reading, a public reading, I don't care...a reading is a reading. The only limitation is that it is somewhere in the 48 contiguous states. The winner would be announced on or about August 16th or 17th of this year. Ideas have ranged from designing the cover of a book or the tour poster, writing either a poem or an essay about my work, or the best (verifiable) story about how one or more of my poems effected you or your life (I have so many people claiming I caused their marriage, divorce or conception of their child...let's hear details, people...if I am the "Romantic Poet of the Internet" like Yahoo said in 1996, let's hear the love.) If you have an idea, let me know.

It has been suggested that I stake my claim to "the poet laureate of the digital renaissance" or "poet laureate of the cyberrenaissance" (or cyberenaissance, depending on your preference) one even suggested "father of the digital renaissance" yeah, that'll get the chicks (snarfle)...my pedigree is well positioned for that, but not sure I want to fight it out with people who have money, PR agents and stable jobs. In virtuo, I am. But, as we all know, there is a parsec of difference between truth and publicity. That's why they call Elvis the "King of Rock and Roll" when Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Bill Halley and a small army all have more valid claims.

Missing my kids this morning. What can you do? My own mistakes and the arrogance of a handful of people have combined to make of me an exile. To quote Henry Plantagent in "The Lion in Winter" "I could have conquered Europe - all of it - but I had women in my life."

Of course, if Alisha or Elizabeth or Brigit were to suddenly materialize, I wouldn't whine.

Sunday night and traction is elusive

First, let me say this, I really wanted Jesse to fight for the prize on "The Contender"...oh well...

I have been thawrted all day today in my efforts to start making audio posts to this blog...audioblog.com seems inaccessible by all means. even their FAQ page has gone AWOL

Busy three weeks ahead of me, culminating in the release of my next book "The Morgantown Cycle Poems" and my daughter's birthday. I will send her a copy of the book for her birthday. We have been estranged for over a year, more painful than my divorce, to be honest, in many ways.

Tag is going to "blurb" "Morgantown..." as well as write a foreword to "The Complete Panther Cycles"..."Brigit" is supposed to do an additional foreword to the P'cycles...it was she who took the official handoff of the muse mantle from the Panther, so she has the history to bring an interesting perspective to it, and she is a damn fine writer in my opinion.

I am starting to get a bit nervous about the cover of the P'cycles..it has not fallen into place as quickly as I had hoped...more trouble...

I am going to see my boys this weekend, and help out with some yardwork at the house. I'll also get to visit with Anastacia, the old friend who was the #1 non-rooter for my marriage with Ann. I think she feels somewhat vindicated in how the marriage eventually collapsed. I know she's also moving heaven and earth to help me land solidly so there's no temptation to ever go back. She also has some leads for some work in the DC area.

Mark is moving tomorrow, so I am going to help with that. The timing is immaculate, it should be the beginning of a majr band of thunderstorms about the time we start loading the truck.

Slept badly last night...very tired...must go to bed...

online tantrum

Yesterday I signed up for the audioblogger.com service, to supplement my blog. I figured I'd wait until a quiet time today to do something with it. Record a poem, perhaps?

Well...

It's been down at least since I got up this morning...I can't get an answer on their phone line to leave an audioblog, and I can't seem to access any of their pages other than the FAQ (even the main page is dead)...

I hate downtime. Probably a really good reason for it, but still dislike the inconvenience.

My brother asked me to head over to the mall to pick him and his daughter (and I) tickets for a showing later today of "Star Wars: Revenge of the Product Placements". The only theatre in Morgantown (combined metro area nearly 100,00 people) to be showing the film is under construction work and only has about 150 seats...and it looks like they are only showing it in one theatre (smart move, guys...bet you're sorry you don't have all your seats open at this time...you'd be raking it in...Lucasfilm ought to kick your butts).

Well, I get there right after 12 only to see all the showings until 10 o'clock tonight already sold out. The annoyingly cheerful ticket seller informed me that because of advance sales (and the fact that they do not limit number of tickets per purchase) the showings had pretty much sold out the day before.

Another reason to miss LA...let's recap...the top twelve reasons why I miss LA...

My daughter, Peri, lives there
The smell of night-bloom jasmine
They know how to run movie theatres (and the movie screenings...)
Venice Beach at sundown
Venice Beach at dawn
The Pierview Restaurant
Gina, Lenny, and all my other friends
The 3rd Street Promenade
Anastasia's Asylum
The brilliant and beautiful ladies, particularly Professor Legs
Billy Vera and the Beaters, live, a couple of times a year
The closeness to the high desert, especially at Santa Ana Wind time.

Yeah, I know, you were expecting something funny. I felt like being real.

Going to try and see "Star Wars" today

Need a distraction. Between all the pressures of putting the finishing touches on the books (including the fact that both my cover model and one of my foreword authors for "The Complete Panther Cycles" have gone AWOL) and the real life pressure, I am not sleeping well...a good distraction might help.

It better not suck, Lucas.

I miss, of all things, Sydney, that plucky, three-legged Australian shepherd that never 100% warmed up to me unless I was cooking chicken or fetching her a cheeseburger from McDonalds. I hope she's doing okay. The higher humidity has got to be playing hob with her joints.

In a few hours I am going to sit down with audioblogger and cut my first audio addition to my blog. This should actually be fun.

Had a nice talk with Grandma yesterday...for 93, she's as sharp as they come and pretty vital...it occurred to me the other day that my earliest memories of Grandma were when I was 4...which would mean my earliest memories of her are of her about my age now. Wow.

Had to just re-edit this entry, due to five typos...wow...not enough sleep, for sure.

Just signed up for audio

I figured this would be a good place to try out some new poems, so...starting tomorrow, if it all works right, I'll start posting some recordings of my poems...a slightly more intimate touch!

Hope I don't caulk it up.

Was sitting out at Books A Million with Tag this evening, discussing life, the universe and everything. Okay, and girl watching. I feel good about his contribution to the forthcoming books, I think we're both going to gain from it.

cloning and a world ago...

In 1969 I was doing a paper for English class, and decided, being the hopeless egghead I was, to write about cloning. Particularly about the moral issues that arose in cloning, which was a very new field at the time, a time when life was no simpler than today, we just remember it that way, because otherwise our heads would explode.

I asked my minister, Rev. B. Carlisle Driggers of Calvary Baptist Church (Morgantown, WV), if the Southern Baptist Convention (then, a great deal more sane than they are today) had any information on their stance on cloning. I didn't consider it very promising when I had to explain the process to him (he's a very educated man and I have a great deal of respect for him, but I was concerned that if he didn't know, the SBC, as a whole, would be in the dark).

He advised me to write to the "Christian Life Commission" of the SBC, particularly to one Harry N. Hollis, who was the head of it at the time, and ask him what position the largest Protestant denomination in North America had on the issue. I followed his advice and wrote out a long explanation of what I was looking for, why I was looking for it, and what the process was.

I got back a very nice letter from Dr. Hollis, including some pamphlets regarding artificial insemination (hey, I was 14, this was practically porn to me), saying that they had never heard of the process, and asking if I would please send them a copy of my final paper so they could have something to base their initial position discussions on.

Oh joy, a thirteen million member organization basing a ruling on eternal morality in the sciences on a 14 year old boy's handwritten essay. I was flattered if a bit overwhelmed, and did send him a copy of the paper (which, as I recall, I got a B+ on...most of the deductions were for my sloppy handwriting). I have no idea what they did with it...it probably is in the bottom of a box somewhere in Nashville.

Anyway, when the SBC turned to the right a few years later I bailed. Not that I don't like a good fight, but I could see where churches were being ravaged by the contention, and the church is supposed to be a hospital for the sick, not a war museum.

My position on cloning? Same then and now. Any technology has an inherent danger of being used for bad or good things, there is nothing you can't find utility towards both in (in varying amount...the first time we have to blast an incoming asteroid off course to save the Earth, we'll be delighted we did create "the bomb"...). I think that the soul is not a biological construct, and whether it is something manifest of God or that evolves as a result of sentience (which dovetails nicely with the notion of "age of accountability") . I think if you cloned one man ten thousand times, each new life would have as much a separate soul as identical twins have. In fact, if you merely put down your picket sign for ten seconds and use the brain God gave you, you'll see that cloning is basically just laboratory "twinning".

Anyway, just thought I'd share that story...I had forgotten all about it until recently.

pulling PanthEon

Yes, definitely. Going to, for the first time ever (not counting the absorption of "from out of the city" into "from an unexpected quarter") pull a book from distribution.

1997's "PanthEon"

will go the way of the mastodon when "The Compleat Panther Cycles" debuts in July.

I am considering even bundling the last few with advance sales for the P'cycles, so people can get the sampler with the buffet. This will once and for all end any remaining pissing contest over the cover, what I paid a king's ransom for, but the artist seems to have forgotten that.

Glad I kept the cancelled check. You see, I do learn. The problem is, having spent so much of my life as the nice guy, when I do draw lines, people can't cope with that and presume I am become evil, as if the Mister Nice Guy image was an act.

Beat a dog long enough, he dies...or he bites. Too many people still depend on me for me to roll over and die. I'm tired of apologizing for holding my tongue and my temper.

a thoroughly disorienting morning

Got up this morning and could not, for the life of me, get a handle on what day of the week it was...finally reconciled the issue by recalling there was nothing good on TV last night...which means it was Friday ("The Daily Show" is broadcast Mon-Thursday, and even its re-runs are better than most first-run shows)

Got a note from Dan McTaggart regarding the foreword he's writing for the P'cycles...have heard nothing now in over a week from either the model or the other foreword writer...I am getting steamed. May have to change a few things in the overall scheme of things...like find a new writer and a new model (or go to a non-model-dependent cover design). I don't need this crap.

Considering the hours I spent yesterday up to my ears in "The Morgantown Suite Poems" it was not surprising that the milieu for my dreams last night was a high school reunion. Very abstract dream, which may explain some of my disorientation this morning.

Ping'd KeyLogic on Thursday...it pays to check with companies who already know you when they are running ads...they may suddenly snap to...cover letter and resume went off Thursday at 9:34 am...still haven't even gotten a confirm of a receipt (K Callan, the business etiquette lecturer and author says that all contacts, email or phone, need to be at least acknowledged within 24 hours). Most of my resume, calls and emails have gone into a black hole over the last few years...American companies, for the most part, do not see themselves as liable for common courtesy. This merely redoubles my desire to start my own group...the decades of experience I've had within companies like CSC, CACI, Perot Systems, GE, et alia (hey, that would be an interesting name for a consulting group...have to see if it is taken) has taught me a lot about management, business modelling and how to differentiate. I think a lean, aggressive consulting model, which borrows heavily from the late, great Herb Karr's management model at CACI, with HQ in a hub zone where remotely billable talent can be gotten for a fraction of red-zone professional salaries while still not going overseas, could be a killer. I have a telephone book of old contacts who would gladly sell their grandmother to join such an outfit...

ah, where is all the money when you need it?

Back to the writing...

if this is Friday, it must be...er...Friday

Going blind working on the book edits...have slipped the incomplete pdf of "The Compleat Panther Cycles" to the two people I have writing intro/foreword sections.

Busting my hump trying not to take "The Morgantown Suite Poems" for granted...don't want them to be the middle child. Just added a new piece entitled "first date blues"...I read back over it and laughed, as it is basically the true story of my disastrous dating career in high school. The girl I was going to take to the prom cancelled a few weeks before, when she came down with "morning sickness" due to her ex boyfriend and had to leave town. And that wasn't the worst situation...sigh.

Had a nice chat with Jan, my 1st ex. I am going down there next week to help clear up some maintenance/yard work and spend some time with my boys. I did find out the official date (at this time) for my daughter, Peri's wedding...and that was exciting (we have been estranged for almost a year...so evening hearing she's breathing is exciting...but like I told her a whiile back, my having a good relationship with her comes second to her being happy and safe. Yeah, it pisses me off, but what can you do but be patient and hope things break a new direction?)

Got really good feedback on the cover for the new book...now if I could just get some feedback from the model I'm trying to work with for "The Compleat Panther Cycles"...that would be good.

Will try and catch "Star Wars" this weekend...as time permits...much to do and finite time and I am a prisoner of other people's schedules, by choice.

Next three weeks will be a maelstrom. Then it gets really busy.

pondering the imponderable

not as philosophic as one might think.

I'm getting ready to approve my introduction for my next book, The Morgantown Suite Poems, and am having a meltdown...ten years ago...no problem...but now...

the Intro mentions many old friends and acquaintances, some living - some dead - some in limbo as I have no idea where they are, above or below ground.

What if someone objects? I mean, they can't sue me just for saying they were my first kiss or we worked together...but having dealt with the Panther's brand of burnt bridges (she once had me take down an interview she did on the web because she didn't want a cuurent boyfriend to know about the circumstances of our relationship...then threw a fit when she discovered that the rights to the interview were actually owned by the interviewer, who expressed a desire to put it up on her own site) or the friend in LA who, when E.J. put up his website (I included a thank you to everyone who has been kind to me over the years, including her...she really did show me kindness at a time in my life when I needed a friend who was not just out for the notoriety of running with the dragon) wrote him a nastygram telling him to take her name down, that she was "not now or ever a reader or fan" of my works. Ouch.

So, I always have to worry. Not about litigious things, as at this point a lawsuit would just make the book and myself more public, but about honestly hurting someone's feelings, which has always been a major motive in my life (truth be told, most of my truly majestic blunders have been incompetent attempts to help someone...I'm not evil, just inept.)

Some days I feel like Charlie Brown. Some days, I just feel browned.

The Morgantown Suite and all roads lead to...?

I sent a sneak of the cover of my next book, The Morgantown Suite Poems, to about a dozen people who might find it interesting. Great response, all around.


This is it...that picture was taken of me in Spring of 1974, by Ron Rittenhouse of the Dominion Post...great story behind it.

Lousy weather today, unless you are an earthworm or a duck.

Got a major lecture from an old friend about the necessity of me never letting Ann anywhere near me again in this life...as she pointed out, what my first divorce didn't take from me, my second marriage did...and, from a professional level, she has a point there. I, of course, have some culpability in that...I was too focused on taking care of her wants and needs to do what is necessary for my own survival and stability. I needed to focus on me, as no one was focusing on me for a long time..A testament to that is the release of my books this year and the formation of the new company...now if I can resolve my creditors and heal the rift with my daughter, things will be better.

Heard from Mangey Charlie yesterday...more on this later. Some interesting thoughts in there.

I will probably go see "Star Wars: Revenge of the Bank Account" this weekend. Have to finish some edits, revise a couple of documents and see to my shoulder (a little messed up after doing some excessive yardwork yesterday)

who needs caffeine?

I know, sacrilege...but I pulled up iTunes, slid down to the two songs I cribbed from the" Streets of Fire" soundtrack...and as the rock anthem (by Jim Steinman) "Tonight is What It Means to Be Young" came through the headphones...I woke up.

Star Wars, and the nature of forethought when selling tickets

For the most part, merchants don't care who buys their product, or how, or why, as long as they sell them.

Classic case in point. Yesterday at the local Carmike Cinemas, people stood in line for hours, waiting for the 135 tickets available for the first showing in Morgantown of "Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith". The second person in line bought 60. In four minutes there was a complete sell out and dozens of people who had stood in line for hours had to either settle for another showing, or go home empty handed.

I do not know if the person who bought the 60 was doing so for a large group of friend, or to scalp them - but most places I've been to, especially if it is a hot ticket, limit the number of single purchases to avoid this very thing. Of course, where do you set the line? If you set it at two, what about families with children or couples double dating? If you set it at four, what about larger families (or triple-dating or group-dating situations?) And, if you set it at 10 or 12, the scalpers (they've got it down to a rhythm...drive near the stadium on game day for a WVU Mountaineer football game and see a handful of guys with hand-fans of tickets, scalping on the corners...where do you think they get them? Yep, someone bought them) just pay some guy (or they themselves) to stand in line and buy the max available.

Think. You pay $7.50 each for 60 tickets, that comes to 450.00. Let's say you place an ad in the paper, or just stand out front an hour before the movie and sell them for 20 bucks (those people who stood on line yesterday, many would be willing to pay twenty)...that's $1,200.00 or almost a tripling of your money for what had to be a tough three or four hours standing in line and a slight risk of prosecution (although I do not know if scalping movie tickets is against any law in West Virginia). Having been a drug counselor for middle school kids in California for two years, I understand the commerce of black market product. We don't need crank or crack in this state, just give us more movie opening days and the drug dealers will all switch to ticket scalping.

Of course this assumes that this person was a scalper. I am sure whatever his cause, he stood in line, chuckling to himself at the folly of people who got there only three hours before the tickets went on sale, knowing he was buying almost half of the tickets (or even if uncertain of the number going on sale, enough to make sure that many of the people who had made their sacrifice to be there, made it in vain)

Hey, where's a Jedi knight to enforce common decency when you need one?

One of the reasons I generally don't go to opening days is that the movie will still be there in a day or two, opening day crowds are generally the most obnoxious, and I am actually there to see the movie (hey, I am currently living in a state where the people at least do not tend to talk during films, like they did in Missisippi when I was there briefly...aigh...here, they just all seem to be wearing ballcaps (which look dumb enough to start with, but wearing a hat indoors is still a sign of bad social skills...hats on men are to be removed at the door). Want to go see a movie? See it in Los Angeles. It's an industry town and they show the proper reverence, much as people genuflect at coal trucks and sports coaches here.

Enough on that, busy day ahead. Caffeine, must have caffeine.

a long day...but a good one

Still so much to do...finishing up some edits on some projects...but it has been a full day.

Wrapped up my writing class for MTec...everyone did fine, a few really stepped up with their final portfolio...and a few stepped in it...

Been writing some new stuff...plus, making plans to go to DC next weekend to help out at the house...gave Fuzzy a message for Legs. Let's see how that goes over.

Got an advance order for "The Morgantown Suite" tonight...that's promising...

The new diet is working great...and the workout earlier went fine. I won;t be where I want to be overnight...but I have every expectation of dropping significant weight over the next few weeks and over the next few months. My goail is to be me again...not depending on food as a substitute for emotional intimacy.

I'm going to look into getting ajacket made, black, with the City of Legends logo and the motto...

where will tomorrow find me? I have no idea, and am unafraid. I am sorry for the hurt that my errors in judgement have caused others in the past, sorry even more for having not yet been able to live up to and fulfill my penance for those actions. But, I have demonstrated that I have still got "it" and will now find means to fix all I can.

Peri, let me know what you want for your birthday.

future projects and the arc of the middle ages

I was reading up on my health statistics when I encountered a breakdown that gave a range of ages for the various "ages" of a person...their definition of "middle age" was 40-64. Okay, that means the dead middle of middle-aged is 52. Two and half years off, and that's just fine. I can now rib my older brother, though, that he has reached his peak and it's all downhill from here.

Rough night. I kept getting the sense of something being wrong. Sometimes my intuition comes true, sometimes it is just I am not feeling well. I always hope for the latter. But, for a guy like me who always keeps a clean leotard with a big "S" on the chest hanging in his closet, the notion of there being something wrong that I can't fix, or at least jump in front of a bus, trying, is disturbing on such a fundamental level. I probably didn't really fall asleep until after 2..and for someone with my internal alarm clock, that means 3-4 hours of sleep, which I can function on, but if I am coming down with something, to quote the great Chico Marx "Thassa no good."

The question came up yesterday...okay, I've got "The Morgantown Suite" and the Appalachian Education Initiative's "Art&Soul" rolling out in June, "The Compleat Panther Cycle" in July and at least one high-profile talk in August. So, what happens the next morning?

I'm falling back on my knowledge of Japanese management methods. A Japanese company doesn't just have a one-year and a five-year plan for their business, they'll have a fifty year plan, even a 100-year plan. Yes, those are more vague, but it gives them a general direction to head in.

I have to stay adaptable. What if "Morgantown..." takes off and "Panther..." lands with a clunk? What if I change my base of operations? Relationship status? And what about Naomi? (Shout out to "The Electric Company's 'Love of Chair'")

Publication projects will take precedence over speaking engagements. Always. Despite well intentioned but ultimately silly efforts to turn poetry into spoken word, that just ended with the genre being overrun with frustrated actors. The one night I visited the Nuyorican I was aghast with the insipid quality of the "poetry" being performed that night. Some great performances, some nice songs and stories, but almost nil on the poetry. What next, bored college professors, competitive novel readings?

The AEI has indicated, in the past, an interest in having artitst profiled in "Art & Soul" tour to promote the book and arts...I have promised them that I will do what I can, and I plan to stick by that.

If I am going to remain in WV, either the consultancy that we're working on needs to fly, OR I have to get into one of the artist in residence programs. I have paperwork that Meghan at ArtsMon gave me...someplace...curious criteria they have, I need to file this month in order to meet their criteria...strange timing pattern they have with how many "things" you've done in the last two years. If J.D. Salinger himself came out of retirement and couldn't show ten events in the last two years, he would not qualify for such a program. Ah, I love the smell of bureaucracy in the morning...it smells like...stagnation and exclusion.

Okay, rough sketch. Hiatus after "Panther..." for about 9 months. Interlace marketing efforts for existing books with edits on next two books...one of children's poetry (caught you with that one, hm?) and the memoir "Wings as Oft Leathery as Feathery"...I've laid down the narrative on that one, I now have to carefully, surgically, insert poems that were written in and about situations described in the book, to enhance the overall effect. The kid's book of poetry will launch in probably March of 2006 (a traditional month for my releases) and the memoir...September 2006, to catch the Christmas gift giving crowd.

I'd love to know where things stand with the book I edited for "x"...since, in theory, I am getting a byline when she gets it published (of course, since, according to legend, there is strong motive for all bridges to burn, it would not surprise me to see it surface, under a pen name, with no linkage back to me. I wouldn't blame her...but it would be pretty damn insulting and dishonest. Good thing I keep meticulous records anymore (something she taught me, they will be useful when the memoir comes out, as provability may be an issue in some of the things I say.)

Okay...we have 2006 in the bag. All edits should actually be wrapped for that year by January...by that time I'll have a greater sense of my base. If I'm back in CA, I complete one of my screenplays and start pimping that..."The Prince of Love", "Critical Radius" and "Syntax" are all nearing completion (damn, I had forgotten what a workoholic I could be)...I share cedit on the first one, and that one will rise or fall more based on how the co-author and I are cooperating, Of course, being the complete control freak I am, I've already cast all three screenplays in my mind. Sometime I'll outlien them all, and the casts, for you.

Some things never change.

2007: Another "nuclear" book like "The Compleat Panther Cycles" (let's see, this will be my 11th book...someone get me a drink. Tentatively, a collection of nothing but either the sweetly romantic or the darkest erotic works...maybe ven one book split in half...or a two-book set..."Leathery" and "Feathery"...yeah, I like that (subject to change as I wake up or fall in/out of love/lust) with both books coming out on the same date...hmmm, Valentine's Day 2007...sets it up as gift and still in position for the summer reading crowd.

Okay, have some editing to do...an avatar's work is never done.

if tomorrow is Wednesday, I better get some rest

I looked in my planner. Tomorrow I start a new exercise program. Damn. Yeah, I need it, but I hate the first few days of training...the sore joints and muscles. Of course, after a few days it is kinda/sorta cool to have the renewed vigor, energy and the sense of accomplishment...

I'm taking on a high-protien, low carb and fat start...then will slide over into almost a raw plant diet for maintenance. I have been working on this plan for some time, but a persistent cold made delaying it a bit necessary. Plus some yoga and 4 miles a day, walking.

If you're reading this, Hi! Don't worry, I track my backlinks well enough that I have a good idea of who a few of the people who read my stuff are, just by the ISP and locales...

We shall see what the summer brings. I haven't forgotten any of my promises.

It's a Roy Batty day in the neighborhood

One of the joys of living an interesting life is reflection, reviewing snapshots of your life for lessons and to recapture moments.

The danger with that are those "Roy Batty moments" (named for the Rutget Hauer character in "Blade Runner", who does such a marvelous soliloquy on his way out) when you are thinking about, not what has been, but what must yet come...this morniing was one of those. Just stretched out in bed, the silence of the pre-dawn world upon me, the shadows my only witness. I don't get depressed, in the clinical sense, but I do allow myself moments of despair, I think it is healthy to allow them their run...keeps the emotional wheels balanced and gives you a secondary emotional lift. A dear old friend of mine used to say that tempered sadness is the springboard to ecstasy. Harrumph.

Started on a new sequence of poems last night...that's a good sign. Was online, talking to a friend. And there came that subtle tapping at the back of my skull. Well, okay, not so subtle. The goblins in my attic had found a cache of pickaxes I'd left in a side room and were busy hacking their way into my awareness...hey, they work fast and efficiently - of course, they've had enough practice.

It all seemed to rotate around my old piece "waiting for the worms" but now that has become "waiting for the wyrm"...homonymous, but very different. Should be an interesting set of works, once they are done. California calls more loudly every day, but I have set stones to my corners and will linger here at least for a time.

I see the government is demanding that Newsweek take heroic efforts to correct a news story with a "factual error" (they just didn't do their background research well enough...we know our government would never make that mistake) that has caused violence resulting in about twenty dead overseas. When is the government going to correct their "factual errors" that have so far resulted in thousands of Americans dead and tens or hundreds of thousands of foreign nationals killed? This administration has jumped the shark, pissed in the tank and tried to accuse the shark of polluting the waters. I believe they believe they are doing right, but sincerity is the cornerstone of all great human follies.

Some good will come of it all, but that's like arguing that Israelis should be thankful for the Holocaust, as it was the aftermath of that which compelled the world to help them set up Israel. Some good comes of all evil. It is the arogance and the intent that still pollutes. Saying our children are safer because of "Meghan's law" doesn't mean we should be thankful to the man who destroyed that young life, as in the end his evil bore some good.

Shutting up for now...

holographic reality

A long, long time ago I read that if you break a hologram into pieces, you do not get pieces of the full image, but each piece as a hazier view of the full image...the smaller the piece, the hazier the view.

So it is with reality...we collect pieces of life and then try to look at enough of it at once to make some sort of sense in the universe. There are too many things I just plain do not know for certain...too small of slivers of the whole are in my mind and memory.

So, this is where faith comes in. I wish I had more to go on in some areas than faith, but at the same time, the necessity of belief, of believing in people even after they have seemingly let you down is something that makes us better people.

Jesus made reference to this notion in saying that if you only treat people as well as they treat you, you are not better than they are. It is mercilessly tough sometimes, to rise above our environments, to choose to be good.

Soundtrack for my mood today: "I am a rock" - Simon & Garfunkle

are we there yet?

Wake me when we get to Tau Ceti, I have to change buses there.

But, in the meantime, in this dreamstate I seem to hover in, I might as well blather on.

I think a lot of people are going to be very pleased with that final result of "The Morgantown Suite"...makes me wish I'd hung on to the royalties, but a deal is a deal is a deal.

Did some logo designs and initialwebsite setup for the new company. I have been on a learning tear of late and have picked up many new skills relevent to website design and execution.

Now, as to the poetry...will get back to it soon, I am sure...just going through a very short distraction.

it's a cool Monday to kick off the week

Lots going on. Most of it good. It's in the 40's here, expected to reach about 60.

Between a nice late evening chat with Jezz and some email words of encouragement from Gina (whose book I am editing and it is incredible) I feel pretty good going into the week.

I'm hoping this week to see the advance pdf for my page from the AEI's Art&Soul book, coming out next month. Postponed from last fall, it's a coffee-table size booklet that profiles 50 outstanding creative artists from West Virginia. It is an honor to have been selected, more so as I have always had a distant relation with the Mountain State (WV to the World: William Who?) and the other honorees (you can see the full list at http://www.appalachianeducationinitiative.org/aei04artandsoulARTISTS.htm ) include Don Knotts, Jennifer Garner, Kathy Mattea, Soupy Sales(!), Ann Magnuson(!) and Morgan Spurlock..that is going to make one hell of a party (although, realistically, I never expect all of them to be in one room at one time, but trust me to take a pile of books with me to the reception...)

I've been in serious skull session about starting a consulting company...it looks like it is going to come to fruition. Between the business acumen, technical skills and networks of the crew we're assembling, this could be big. I could get used to that again. Be nice to dig my way out of the financial hard times I put myself into. 99% of my real problems in this life could be resolved by a simple briefcase full of cash...barring some nice philantrophist who'd rather go down in history as the patron who rescued a wounded "romantic poet of the internet" than buy another gold plated dipstick for his Bentley, I have to just keep swinging.

Speaking of swinging, I wonder what Mari is up to?

I was glad to see Tom Westman win Survivor last night. I have never seen such a dominating performance. It is nice to know that sometimes the person who plays the best does win (unlike some years when it is truly just a backstab game, there has to be some consideration for, if it truly was a game of survival, who would win (like a story I worked on a few years ago...if "Gilligan's Island" had not been a comedy...how would it have gone? I had it come down to the Professor and the Skipper at war, the Howells and Gilligan long gone as collateral casualties, and Ginger and Mary Ann having to decided whether to sit back and await the final victor or throw in with one or the other. Of course, in my universe, the ladies wisely chose the one most likely to keep them alive and in comfort, the Professor. Although the Professor spared the Skipper's life, it was left with the backthought that eventually the Skipper would wait until the Prof had done all he could to improve the quality of life, then take him out.))

I'm giving two final exams this week, and have a lot of yard work to do, in addition to my newly full dance card (don't worry, Clemmie, I'm being good, as promised) and my writing and editing duties...I HAVE to put "The Morgantown Suite" to bed by next Sunday.

media pages and the necessity of self-promotion

I've spent some time today working on what a friend in the PR business suggested I do...create a page just for the media...a site that won't be accessible through normal links, but I can reference to print and broadcast (and web) media so they can get all the background they need or want.

It's tough...I'm not comfortable with self promotion. Always afraid of overstating something (or, as happened in one case, reporting exactly what I was told only to have the source later disavow their statement...) So, I will err on the side of caution (not a virtue in PR, but it saves you from humiliation).

The South is still silent. I can't help but worry...our last exchanges were fretful from her side. But, nothing I can do. When the Genji is ordered into his bottle, he has to remain there. Rules of the game, you know.

Just picked up some more freelance editing work to do. Oh happy day...callooh! callay! (Hey, it isn't great fun, but I can do it well and simply and make money on it, so I ain't bitchin.)

Looking forward to the new week and renewed contacts with some of my favourite people.

I've had a productive and enjoyable weekend. I need more of these before the storm breaks in June...because once things start happening, quiet moments will be a rare, fair commodity.

Sunday Morning, Sunday Morning...

There was an old Spanky and Our Gang (pop/rock band from the late sixties, early seventies, best known for the civil rights guiltfest "Give a Damn") song called "Sunday Morning"...lyrics of the sort of "It's so quiet in the street, you can hear the sound of feet walking by...I'll put coffee on to brew, we can have a cup or two, then do what other people do on Sunday morning". I always wondered what exactly it was that other people do on Sunday morning.

Not important, just a sideshow.

Nice evening last night, although it seemed like half of the people I knew were either calling or accidentally bumping into me. As they say in sitcom parlance "Hilarity ensues." I think the guy who came up with that line should be shot.

Was telling a friend last night about some of my adventures when I was working in Salinas, as the combined (deep breath here) Monterey County Friday Night Live Coordinator, house counselor for Sunrise House, Alcohol and Drug Resource Specialist for Harden Middle School and Facilitator for the Youth Alternatives to Violence programs at Monterey County Silver Star Youth Facility and Soledad High School. Busy, busy, busy...but making a difference. I miss many of those people (getting to talk to Joey and his Grandmother last night really brought that back...) I will have to add Salinas to my list of options for relo when the time comes.

Also found out that, despite recent press coverage that Meth is starting to show up in West Virginia, it is already here, big time. The police and the media have just decide to slow play it. Why? No idea. I guess twelve year olds turning tricks for processed cold medicine made in local trailer parks isn't as important as the latest survey (the Top Headline in today's local paper on the the "Local News" page) of area opinion about whether or not the Catholic Church fasttracks John Paul II to sainthood.

Hey, the guy was great and you can put whatever laurels you want on him and his legacy, but Shakespeare was right (you don't hear me say that often) in "Macbeth" - about life

"It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

People we have kids dying, flesh and spirit. We have soldiers dying in Iraq. We have millions of people starving. AIDS is still with us. One in three American women will be raped at some point in her life and in 85% of those cases alcohol will be a factor (anyone for another beer ad with cheerleaders?). North Korea has both nukes and the means to deliver them.

I'd like to see some enterprising news organization decide to do news by priority, not the crapfest that has become of news since Rupert Murdoch got hold of it. Even CNN Headline news now foregoes the classic "all the news in half an hour" format in the evening, to compete for ratings. I don't need a half hour on whether or not Brad Pitt is banging Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Garner is pregnant by Ben Affleck. I am sure they would agree it is a waste of sound and light to report it.

We have become a nation of people who do not care if our children die or our legacies befouled, as long as we are entertained. Maybe we are so full of despair that we can't think about what is really going on around is, so we invent things we can get our arms around. As much as I despise the perverse stridency of the National Right to Life (they have a gift for twisting sloppy theology into soundbite politics) at least they have passion for something meaningful. Everybody else is busy buying Darth Vader bubblegum and worrying about cellphone ringtone uploads.

Boy, I am going to get some hatemail on that paragraph. Yeah, hatemail. Hate. The least Christian thing you can think of. I am sore tired of ignorance and those who exploit it for their own edification. I would rather lose an argument with a better or more learned mind than beat down my opposition with innacuracies and lies. This life is not about winning, it's about the truth. And we are now turning over our lives and those of the people we love to those who keep score ahead of checking facts. And wrapping yourself in a flag or misquoting the Word of God doesn't change that.

What a curious and extraordinary day this is turning into

Slow start, big finish, I guess.

I stumbled across Joey's number. Thought I'd lost it months ago, and since I had changed cell phones, figured it might be aeons before the next time I encountered him. But, I found the number and gave him a call.

Joey was student/project of mine when I was a counselor at Sunrise House in Salinas, Californiam and the Alcohol/Drug Resource Specialist for Harden Middle School. A bit hyper and definitely too smart for his own good, he had been labelled as a "psychotic" by a principal or vice principal in grade school, so they were waiting for himw hen he hit middle school. He reminded me of what Mark Twain said about Tom Sawyer, that he would either grow up to be President...or hung.

He's getting by, still has to deal with the whole labelling thing. If he sneezes wrong, they come for him and accuse him of doing God knows what....bummer, but he'll adapt and advance himself.

Gotta go for now...it's all good...but will write more later or in the morning.

Saturday Evening Thunderstorms

Well, I am getting good initial response to my release of a complemetary eBook of INVOCATO, so much so I may need to expand the program. I am delighted.

I am placing so much of my emotional energy into the editing of the two new books that I have little fire left to write with. I know this will change in the next several weeks, but it is still a point of frustration for me.

I think I will do something. Something odd. Then, document the results here. Like my life isn't odd enough already. I am considering looking up a list of people who have, in the past, inspired my work, people who I have lost track of...and seeing if I can find them, and what they have to say. I've been toying with the idea for some time (someone who lurks is probably right now reading this and cringing).

I commented the other day to someone that the main difference between LA and Morgantown is the culture of competition. In LA you are expected to compete, to achieve. You are encouraged, even by your competitors, to come out swinging and show what you've got. In Morgantown, there is a strong current of suppression. You are encouraged to sit in the back of the room and be quiet. Don't make waves. Don't compete. I have not yet reached a full understanding of the root of this, but it is a palpable thing.

I think it has to do with a fear of change, that somehow anyone who evolves threatens the order of things, and that at the pinnacle, the cultural power is held by those who wish things to stay the same, in Morgantown. In LA they have learned that change is inevitable, and thus the power resides with those most adaptable to change. And because they know how to harness the change, they encourage and support it.

It is a curious dichotomy, as one normally suspects that the larger an organism is, even a cultural organism, the more resistant to change it is, and that agility is the main power of a small organism.

I remember when I worked at the bank, the officers of the local banks were all gung-ho about changing the state laws to allow branch banking...expecting that they would gobble up smaller banks. The laws got changed and they got gobbled up by even larger banks. Perhaps this sort of thing instills the big fish in the small ponds a fear that drives them to assiduously defend their waters, afraid that anyone who brings anything new to the mix is trying to take something from them.

People forget that humans do not dominate the world through caution, but through boldness and adaptation. Those who scurry into corners and erect artificial imprediments to change one day emerge from their caves to find themselves irrelevent to a world that went on without them. Hiding from the sunshine doesn't make it go away. It merely removes you from the equation.

I wish I was not so cut off from so many people I have worked so hard to help and have sacrificed so much to their benefit. I would be angry for the insult, were it not for the sorrow that permeates it. Not depressed, but sorrowful.

To quote one person, when they explained where they had failed in life, "I did what I could." Maybe I have not righted every wrong, fixed every broken wing - but I will, in the harshest and most honest light, weigh what I have accomplished in helping others against the damage I have done from my failings. Yes, my wings have been as "oft leathery as feathery", but I have kept leash on myself when the darkness was upon me and given myself free rein when the opportunity has been to help.

I grow weary of slander. Weary enough to find my voice, perhaps. That would be interesting...to speak not only truthfully, but forthrightly. To shine the light in the dark corners.

The problem is, much damage would be done to individuals whose worst fault seems to be a willingness to hide, and I have problems, without higher purpose than my own vindication, defending myself. A bitter paradox, but worth examining.

Sometime, soon. Several significant anniversaries are approaching, and such days mark ample emotional feed for my contemplations.

Thunderstorms heading this way

Very nasty storms en route...red zone storms. Hail, damaging winds, blah blah...may undermine my plans for the evening!

Had a nice talk with my first ex on the phone earlier today. Got updated on what's been going on with my boys (details of my daughter are sketchy, by her design). We're trying to work it out for me to come in in two weeks and do some serious work, cleaning up their back yard, whcih has fallen into disrepair...this is complicated by my schedule, her insistence that I can't work on it on Saturdays (she observes the Jewish Sabbath) and transportation complexities. Sigh.

Went to a yard sale and bought my nephew a plush Steelers football.

Kicked around some naming conventions for our business with my brothers. A man with one watch always knows what time it is, a man with two is never sure...now take that up to three. Aigh.

I posted the complementary eBook of INVOCATO to authorsden.com, and will be putting out the word to the world that they can get a free eBook. May not cause a stampede, but it is a gesture.

I wonder, often, what's going on down south...I have no idea if even what was told to me is anywhere near the truth (so much erosion of trust in the last year. Blind faith has been abused, the damage is not necessarily permanent, but certainly deep and stupid.)

Well, I'm going to shut down for a few, in case we get the storm that looks to be heading our way. Pax.

Virtual Urban Renewal

Have decided to do one of my semi-annual cleanups of the website...just whacked into it last night, and will continue to work through the weekend to try and make it more user friendly and more fascinating.

Did a little reading on ideas to refocus, so will try to apply them, including making the site more interactive and dynamic.

Scanned a book on buzz marketing...I am considering whipping up a contest for the website on personal anecdotes related to my poetry. I have received many over the years, a few with photographic evidence (that's PHOTOgraphic, not PORNOgraphic, usually). I'm also going to start distributing free copies of the eBook of INVOCATO. If you want one, contact me at freebooks@cityoflegends.com

Read a fascinating article in Forbes last night avout "getting fired at fifty"...it doesn't exactly describe what's been going on in my yech career over the last couple of years, but was close enough to be inspiring. I am more resolute than ever, and more comforted that I am not alone....thousands of men in their "career prime" are finding themselves put out to pasture, then locked out of real opportunity because of the inherent prejudice of the work force (add to this the morbid fear many middle managers have of hiring someone with more bones than them and you build a strong case for a no hire decision)...

Robert and I have pretty much decided to move forward with our own company. Yeah, I write and get from that, but I have been a cash machine for others in the past (I saved RealCom over $2million dollars during my 18 months there, just in process improvements to close fraud in telecommunication billing - The implementation of an actual test team at Globalstar and a personnel plan than downsized our extremely overpriced outside consultancy saved an estimated $450,000 overall...and I was there all over 6 months - Add to that my proposal win rate and my project management track record on FFP contracts and...well, you get the idea) The biggest problem? picking a name. Too many possibilities.

Had a nice chat with M last night...we discussed pet stories. And bats (although in my case, having actually had a pet bat once...)

upgrading my technology...and Diet Dr. Pepper

One of the true pains of being a struggling artist is finances.

Especially nowadays, when the internet plays such a vital role in worldwide instantaneous communication.

Working, as I am, with a 333mHz iMac (or, when I slip up to my Dad's machine a ::gasp:: 400 mHz Mac) it is amazing I get anything done.

So, in addition to figuring out how to catch up on all my old bills (now that there is no longer a drain pipe attached to my wallet) and some bills that aren't really mine, but I promised I'd take care of, and just day to day functioning, I'm left with the predicament of figuring out how to move up, to upgrade the situation.

I could always trade on my name, but somehow I don't think Apple would ship a new machine just for the promotional opportunities involved in being able to say the "Romantic Poet of the Internet" creates his works on a Macintosh. You never know, though...then my brain meanders to the issue of endorsements.

If I was asked to endorse a product, would I?

A lot depends on if I see value in it and actually use it. I might change brand of sodas for a check with the same number of digits left and right of the comma. But I wouldn't start eating crap I don't normally eat, just for a buck. That's dishonest and just plain wrong, and I've made enough mistakes in this life for my children to lose respect for me for. Bad enough of pop stars are little more than pornstar clones with echo chambers...someone has to hold the line.

So, if I was told I could endorse any products, what would I endorse...hmmm...

Penguin mints...if you haven't tried these babies...they're like Altoids, just caffeinated...fantastic accessory in the office, or on the book tour.

Diet RC...except the company that makes it, DPSU (That's Dr Pepper - Seven Up) shelved this original Splenda based diet cola...and it tasted good, too..

Diet Dr. Pepper - If I have to quaff Aspartame, at least let me die happy.

Apple computers - If I have to tell you why, you don't deserve to know (and I teach Microsoft applications for a local school board)

Fructis shampoos and conditioners...for someone like me, with long hair, these are what you need. Incredible stuff.

Wendy's hamburgers - Yeah, I am fond of Hardee's - especially since they started selling the Carl's Jr. line under their name...but Wendy's is my second favourite place to go, on the planet, for food.

Long John Silvers - Yum. Fish and fries.

Of course, I have preferences in other areas, from writing implements to TV shows to condoms, but I've beat this horse enough.

Anyway, I don't expect anyone to come look me up and offer me money for my endorsements, but I figured I'd be honest and say what I like. Aside from leggy, brilliant women.

Toastmasters, a Mad Gypsy and Referral Scripts

Friday morning. Friday the 13th morning.

I actually don't have any major issues with Friday the 13th (aside from the fact that the only surgery I've ever had (which I should point out saved my life) was on a Friday the 13th). I've never really had bad luck on F13. But, it's fun to joke about.

Toastmasters' meeting today...I think it is the only one over the next month or two where I am NOT scheduled to speak. Gonna wrap up my 10th speech by July...Great group of people, and I recommend the organization to anyone, even if you don't need major help with your public speaking. Yes, it is scary inviting critique, but it is also liberating to know you invited it and can deal with it.

Dropped a note to a muse yesterday. Saw that John Cusack has a new film coming out this year ("Must Love Dogs" and it has one of my all time "yum" people, Diane Lane, whom I have been a fan of since "Streets of Fire" and found her performance in "Unfaithful" to be incredible) and I remember that Karla, the Mad Gypsy (background music: Tupelo Honey) is a huge Cusack fan (took her to see "Grosse Point Blank", terrific film) adores him...got a humourous poke back about getting a "personal note from the master" (she gets my newsletter, so that's how she usually hears from/about me) I should point out to her that she was one of the first people to push me to accept Ann's overtures (she felt that we were a "better match", WTF?)

I have spent a little time out on the web, looking for a good referral script to use on my website, so that people can fire off a link to a favourite poem to a "friend" (since many of my poems are romantic in nature, they may be more (or intended to be more) than a friend. Haven't found the perfect one yet...if you have any suggestions, let me know. The perfect script should be customizable, or at least generic. By the way, find the term "viral marketing" while accurate, extremely dubious in taste.

Sex? Not lately, this is my longest period of self-enforced celebacy since...er...well, ever. Drugs? No. And I can point to my accomplishments as evidence that this was a good decision. Rock and Roll? Yes, please...ahhh. that's better.

Hey, they're putting out a new Diet Coke with Splenda. Since the inexplicably stupid people at DPSU pulled Diet RC (tastes great and the only cola made with Splenda) because...er...because...ummmm...because...ehhhhh...because of no sane reason, those of us who do not like brain lesions and liver failure and slowed metabolisms and oral sores and the runs have been stranded. There is a God, He just tries to not get involved.

aigh. more editing today. I hate editing my own work.

Verbal Viagra and all that jazz

I've been reading up on marketing concepts, as I am slowly taking more and more control over my own marketing plan. Yes, I know...there are experts for this, but I'd feel better experimenting on my own...of course, if someone wants to step up and volunteer to take it, I'm not hard to find.

Guerrilla marketing involves so many concepts, not the least of which is finding a catchy hook...something that convinces people, some people, that they can obtain benefit by your product (which in this case takes many forms: my website, my books, my appearances)...so, where to go from here...

The books, the idea suggests iteself to call them "verbal viagra". This implies and rightly so, that proper use of the love poems can improve your chance of getting laid and the perceived quality of your sexual function. This is not exactly BS, I have plenty of interesting emails from both male and female readers attesting to the "medicinal" value of my works when used in the right setting. Dating back to novelist Margaret Moseley calling the Panther Cycles "candlelight read-alouds".

The website: Still working on this angle...could apply the "verbal viagra" angle, but the truth is, very few people have a computer on and linked during seduction and foreplay (and many who do are alone at the time). But, to provide "email this" links to all the poems, and point out their value in setting the mood, that may work...still pondering that one.

My appearances. Harrumph. The problem with my readings is that, as a general rule, it is a bad idea to expose your girlfriend or wife to me, as they are more likely to get turned on by my poetry to the end of fixing on me, than on you. Yes, I am not gorgeous, but I am the author of these words and the spring of these feelings. Trust me, I've been on the receiving end of more than a few inappropriate crushes. This one will require the most focusing. Of course, if guys take their gals to concerts by romantic singers, or to movies like "Titanic" and expect to get reqarded for showing their sensitive side...perhaps.

My brain hurts...

online mismatchmaking

One of the most amusing games of late I have been playing is going on an online personals site and asking for what I want.
Not necessarily what I need, but what I want.

Then I look through the results, the results being those who match my criteria, and read their criteria...argh!

This one: Almost perfect match for me...but...she wants someone taller, thinner and younger.
Okay, this one: Taller, thinner, younger.
Maybe this one: Taller, thinner, younger and a different religion and no gray hair (I started turning when I was 17).

I can fix the thinner...been working on that...taller is a bit tougher, and I am not going to lie about my age just to meet someone interesting. So, I guess I'll just let the month run and shut it off. It was a noble experiment, nonetheless.

The truth of the matter is that you are most likely to find someone when you aren't looking for them. I was already engaged to someone else when I met my first wife. My second wife, well, she was a lesbian when I met her. So, weird things happen.

Okay, candidate #4....She's 44, but only wants to meet men 35 and younger. Well, you can't blame her, most men are like that...

The other advantage to blundering into people is that, if I had to describe my best relationships, they came from an unexpected quarter, for both me and them...we met by random chance, with no expectations of anything - and something happened. Whether it was a slow melt or a spark, something happened. And that's good...I sometimes go to movies I know nothing about...just to be pleasantly (or, sometimes, unpleasantly) surprised. If you have to read all the reviews of all the films of one genre (the only one you'll go to see) and then go to the official website to study stills and plot summaries (or even play the video game) then you are not very adventurous (some people live lives, others watch them on TV)...

Candidate #5...I think I know her...and that's a very old picture.

Such is life...I think I'll follow Elayne Boosler's old advice. She'd been with the same guy forever, then they broke up. She had a date a few weeks later and all her friends marvelled "How did you do that?" And she said "I left my house."