response to my second-in-command

Interesting piece, E.J., you are clever. Which means I either have to promote you or have you shot. Or both.

It's practically the gender-bender side of the Madonna-Whore complex. I believe in spontaneity and romance, so much so that the notion of being meticulous and cautious in that arena seems disingenuous, and therefore somewhat twisted. It is a trap for me.

I have also come to distrust, to some degree, the motives of others. Having found myself on the receiving end of deceit, I find it difficult to accpet, at face value, the attentions and intentions of a woman. A part of my brain goes "What is she really after?" Been there, done that, have the scars, the bills and the tattoo to prove both my gullibility and the consequences of it.

There is hope...the question is what sort of situation or person will be required to awaken me. I am willing myself to breathe, but such breaths are forced affairs, lacking the natural elegance and ease that should accompany life, not some reanimated corpse of a heart.

Golem and phoenix, you bet.

Also nosferatu and mantichore and dragon and lycanthrope and zombie. And, for that matter, Roy Batty.

A long time ago there was a debate raging in the AOL Writers Club about "creatives" and "norms"...whether a truly creative person, be they an artist, a writer or an actor, could find a stable and fulfilling relationship with one or the other. Yes, a fellow creative might have insight into why you are the way you are and understand your process of thought, but they might also be so caught up in their own process that even a slight variance in style would generate massive conflict.

On the other hand, a norm might respect and even worship the creative side of you, and provide am anchor in the real world, but will they understand who and what you are? Will you be trapped in emotional isolation, as I have found myself on several occasions, when the muse (in the abstact sense) is upon you?

I have found most creative artists to be some of the most lovely, but lonely, people I know, forced to compromise who they are because their gifts isolate them - and to demand even a normal level of equality from their relationships woul further isolate them.

Sigh.

I am who and what I am, for better or for worse.