turn ons include puppies, sunsets and people who care...

It is an old cliche for people to list their turn-ons and turn-offs. I am not wishing to be a cliche.

But Laurie Wielenga (Or is it Weilenga, I can never keep it straight, that's what editors are for)...who was my editor for INVOCATO, as well as being a former protege, sent me a list the other day that someone had sent her in which you stated whether certain things about the opposite sex were turn-ons or turn-offs.

At E.J.'s urging I decided to post my responses here, along with some commentary, for those interested in what makes a mind like mine tick, roll over, beg and burst into flames. For the purposes of this questionaire I am sticking to the definition of a female humanoid as a "girl", even though my tastes run much more strongly to what I would call "women"

GUYS: Turned ON or OFF when a girl:

dresses like a slut: Depends on the girl (some would say Ann dressed like one sometimes, I thought it was just colourful)
dresses like a grandma: Depends on the girl (There can be a thin line between stylishly conservative (hot) and matronly (not))
dresses like a prep: Depends on the girl (depends on how well she carries it off)
dresses in all black: On (I like monochromatics and intensity)
doesn't care what she wears: Depends on the girl (some can carry off apathy, some can't)
sings: Depends on the girl (all the time? in concert? in bed? what?)
plays a musical instrument: Depends on the instrument (French Horn: turn on, Tuba: turn off)
is skinnier than you: On (I tend towards anorexic women, it's my tastes)
is bigger than you: Off (I am somewhat out of shape, a woman at my weight would be unsightly)
is taller than you: On (I like tall women...Jan and Brigit were boith 5'10"...Dar was 5'9"...Nancy 5'8")
has straight teeth:On (preferable to really nasty, crooked teeth and no teeth)
wears braces: Very on (long story, has to do with an old girlfriend and kissing)
has green eyes: On (they get to me, what can I say?)
has blue eyes: Neutral (too common anymore)
has brown eyes: Neutral (really light and really dark brown eyes are very nice)
has long hair: On (yes, I love long hair on women...)
has short hair: On (really short hair can be as hot as really long hair)
drinks alcohol: Off (I am not saying a woman who drinks is not acceptable, I just don't sleep with women who are drunk or even a little tipsy, and I like sex)
smokes cigarettes: On (although I find it disgusting, it's programmed into me, Nancy smoked...)
smokes pot: Off (she's willing to break the law when it pleases her, is she willing to break a promise to you for her own whim?)
wears glasses: Depends on the girl (depends on the glasses, too...)
has blonde hair: Depends on the girl (I've only dated two blondes, and only one was "real")
has brown hair: Depends on the girl (the bulk of my experience)
has black hair: Depends on the girl (never dated anyone with truly black hair...not sure)
has red hair: On (no comment, but you know who you are, both of you)
is tan: On (I think a tan looks good, but it is not a prerequisite)
works out: On (I like a woman who is fit and has endurance...)
smiles more than not: On (it indicates a happy soul)
calls you just to say "Hi!": On (I like being liked)
smacks your butt: On (friendly, playful, willing to be publicly affectinate, I can live with that)
compliments you: On (nice to be appreciated: have not met many who are complimentary...maybe it's just me)
shaves her legs: On (I like helping a woman shave her legs...and I like to help her wash her hair, too)
wears jewelry: Neutral (depends on if she gets ridiculous about it)
has bigger feet than you: Off (unless they are webbed and she breathes water)
has smaller feet than you: Neutral (I'm not that into feet)
wears perfume: Depends on the perfume and how much (I have definite likes in women's scents)
smiles when you walk into the room: On (nice to be made to feel welcome)
wants to be a mom: Neutral (I am still pondering this, I would not rule out more kids)
Has a nice stomach: On (kissable?)
Belly piercing: Neutral (haven't been with one like this...would consider it...)
Virgin: Neutral (don't deserve one, never had one, wouldn't say no to one)
Loyal: Very on (too many backstabbers I've had to break away from over the years...be nice to be able to trust someone)
Laid back: Depends on the girl (I can chill)
Doesn't party a lot: Depends on the girl (define Party...)
laughs a lot: Depends on the girl (if her laugh is a snort, no...)
doesn't care about what ppl think about her: On (autonomy is hot)
believes in love at first sight/fate: On (I believe in it...)
talkative: Depends on the girl (depends on what she talks about)
rich: Depends on the girl (not against money, but I'm not a gold-digger)
has a booty: Neutral (butts aren;t my thing, but if everything else worked well...)
has nice boobs: Neutral (Some define "nice" as large, I define them as esthetically pleasing...)
long legs: On On On On On (the legends persist)
is white/caucasian: Depends on the girl (I wouldn't rule another race out)
asian: Depends on the girl (never dated one, although I have met some I wouldn't hesitate to ask out if our paths crossed when I am single)
black: Depends on the girl (one of the greatest "ones that got away" was Elizabeth, the funny, sweet, bright, gorgeous black assistant to my boss a few years ago...)
latina: Depends on the girl (Never really dated one, although living in Salinas as long as I did, I was exposed to them...some were very intriguing)

Oh, and monogamy, integrity and creativity all are big with me.