Leisure unsuited

So, what's wrong with staying busy?

(I believe in the old adage "I can rest when I'm dead")

Leisure does not suit me. Let me clarify, before Anastacia and E.J. mug me over that.

It doesn't have to be "work" per se, but anything that keeps my mind and body engaged, ideally. I have always had a low threshold for boredom (what do I find boring? think "tedious"...wasteful things, stupid things, lies, destructive and meaningless activities. my hobbies have always been reflections of this...er, I have no hobbies...I use the internet as a research tool, I write, I use television solely as a drug to lull me to sleep or occupy my mind when forced into a static position in my environment (People will gripe if I spend an hour on the web, designing a new webpage or researching a political or scientific interest, saying I am wasting my time...while they are watching "Wheel of Fortune" and "Jeopardy"...huh?))

Lives are filled with debris. In the time you take to read this, people have died painfully and needlessly. Someone you need to talk to has not heard from you. A friend has gone wanting for something you could bring to their life. (Suddenly I am hearing Van Halen's "Right Now" in my head.)

Little things have purpose, but to fill your life with delaying tactics while waiting for the worms is a waste of air and space.

"I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." - Shelby, "Steel Magnolias"

Don't get me wrong, there is great wonder in my life. I am staggered by how much I feel for my children (yes, even you, Peri)...everyday I meet new people whom I see possibilities in.

Most of the dumb things I've done in this life I've done out of boredom (actually, there are studies that indicate that boredom is a top cause of teen drug use and early sexual experimentation).

"And I am lost in the possibilities of your presence." - William F. DeVault, "The Patchwork Skirt of My Love"

Maybe the woman who smiled at me yesterday will be the next great muse, the great muse, or just a friend of a friend of a friend. Maybe I will save her life, maybe she will save mine. Maybe she'll find out who I am (I spend most of my day "undercover") and buy one of my books.

Maybe none of the above. My God, there are billions of people out there and nearly all of them wake up every day and walk through life and have thoughts and emotions and expereinces that add to the infinite tapestry of the univers.

Someone once asked me what my vision of heaven would be. For me, it would be the Almighty giving me my own quantum bubble and telling me to have fun. Wouldn't that be something? And then, even after death, I wouldn't rest.

Except, maybe every seventh day or so.