deific and ascendent in Morgantown, West Virginia (or how to unzip with your hands behind your back)

Just sent off a letter to a few old friends and colleagues. In it I reminded them of my reading on the evening of August 17 (at 7pm) for Arts Week here in Morgantown (at the Morgantown Visitors and Convention Bureau...(or is the the Morgantown Convention and Visitors Bureau? I can never get it right.)

I encouraged them to come, to bring as many friends as they can and to help me confound expectations by having a "literary" event off campus that actually draws a crowd (literary events on campus at WVU enjoy unlimited free advertising and students who get extra credit for class if they show up).

So I am, to use an old street poetry term for taking a risk, "unzipping". I'm exposing myself to criticism and even ridicule if the audience doesn't show or I don't perform to standards (now do you understand why it's called that? If not, you're not a guy.)

I'm setting myself up for potential disappointment, but I believe in the arts, I believe that there are people in this area, in this world, whose only problem is that they don't know what's out there for them to embrace. It's like the pretty girl who never went to the prom because no one had the nerve to ask her, figuring she already had a boyfriend.

I also would like to throw down a challenge to the local newspaper (not newspapers, that illusion vanished aeons ago here...we are a one-paper town) and radio stations (and even those TV stations that touch upon us as a market) to support this reading with a little attention. I'll cooperate if you want to give me a little airtime between "gun bash" promos and beer commercials.

WCLG? Want me to call Lex and Terry? (I actually am a loyal listener of theirs, but since I don't drink or look good in a bikini (and my romantic troubles at least temporarily ended when I left my lesbian lingerie model ex-wife for saner pastures, I don't think they'd find me that interesting...God love em..there are mornings I do not think I would've made it without the laughter they give me.) Also, I remember when WAJR went country and you were the station we listened to to hear anything not about trucks and dogs in this town.

WDTV? Here I am. TV stations in Los Angeles and the New Orleans market thought I was worth some air time, why doesn't Clarksburg?

WAJR? I tried out to be a copywriter with you, back in the seventies. Glad you said I was too cocky...I would've probably never left and found the rest of the world, so I owe you a favour...you call, you get first crack at me (unless one of the other stations makes a really juicy offer, maybe something involving a case of Diet Dr. Pepper and a leggy grad student).

WVAQ? Whatcha waiting for?

WWVU? Hey, the Daily Athenaeum has profiled me three times in recent memory, including putting me on the cover back in February. The Appalachian Education Initiative has put me in their book about outstanding creative artists from West Virginia, putting me on equal footing with last year's commencement speaker, David Selby, as well as Don Knotts and "Big Chill" writer-director Lawrence Kasdan (all of them, also Morgantown natives)...Morgan Spurlock and Kathy Mattea. 'Bout time you guys ante'd up.

WV Public Radio? Well, according to EJ you don't return emails, so I'm not sure what your damage is, but I'm here and I can guarantee you that there will be someone at your stations, on your staffs, who knows who I am and what I'm about and how silly it looks for a guy who can pack the house in New York, Boston, Philly and Los Angeles can't get a blurb in local media when he puts it out there.

In Mississippi they had me host their state-wide Gathering of Poets. I was a guest of the Mississippi Library Convention. In Monterey they had me address entire schools. Here, I can't get a single English teacher in any local school to have me come and talk about poetry during National Poetry Month.

Morgantown Public Library? I've got a copy of TCPC just waiting for you to claim it...send a rep that evening and I'll hand it over to them. I'll also have with me the check for the first month's royalties for THE MORGANTOWN SUITE POEMS made out to Arts Monongahela...someone needs to show up to collect that, too.

I know I haven't lost the touch as a poet and a speaker. I announced my Spring tour for next year and I have queries from eleven cities, coast to coast, from Austin to Boston, from Venice Beach to Tampa and Chicago (and three more in Europe, but I'm not doing the world tour until 2007). And maybe it is just the old notion that since I grew up here, I cannot be embraced as someone who has accomplished (someone has suggested because people are innately afraid that their children will dream of moving away, as well...I think that's a load of ferment bovine fecal matter).

While we're at it...maybe the local Toastmasters need to send someone, as I have been too busy to give my 10th speech and they could always come rate this performance (yes, at an hour it stretches the length rules, but I'm fine with that if you don't mind).

Yep, I'm unzipping. If this falls on its face, my ego is intact and Morgantown will still always be home. One of the virtues of having spent time in the dark places, in the light and on the edge, you learn who you are and what you are and what your value you. I don't think I'm a better person than anyone else. I just know I'm as good.

If you haven't read my resume as a writer, go to www.cityoflegends.com/media.com I'll be updating this very evening to add more material about what's going on now...

::::zip::::