sex, words and rock'n'roll...and a new poem

Hey, I'm a lifelong teetotaler, you expected me to endorse drugs? My vice, (besides my planetary-sized ego) according to some people, is sex, which is what makes my now 18 month celibacy kick all the more remarkable. I had lunch with my friend Csaba today and he remarked that I seemed to be coming into my own (I got rave reviews for the reading i gave at the Arts Week gig Wednesday).

I think part of that is I am proving I have my demons under control. The conversion to the Quaker faith has re-established my own sense of integrity that was lost from all the compromise I felt forced to make over the last few years. My celibacy has told me I can control my hunger...not to eliminate it (God knows how quickly my pulse reacts at the sight of a pretty girl)...I am feeling in control of my life (now if I can just get rid of all these lingering financial issues, I can really get traction on the scrith of life).

My writings are as sharp as they have ever been, maybe even sharper...the work of getting back in shape, physically, is slow, but progress is occuring. I am healing the relationship with my sons, my problems with my daughter will have to wait for her to decide I am worth having in her life. If she never does, I mourn her absence, but I can't let her decision destroy me. We are guilty of our own mistakes, not those of others (something else I have learned).

And, somewhere out there, tonight, is my next great muse, perhaps even a former muse waiting to be the phoenix (perhaps, in the end, the Phoenix will be a muse...I can think of a few worthy candidates if they reasserted themselves in my life, and it would make a good capstone to my memoirs).

All in all, I am delighted at the outpouring of faith and support amongst friends and loved ones, and want to thank all of you for making this birthday a milestone, not a millstone. Now if I can get Csaba to introduce me to his friend who came by while we were having lunch....she was very intriguing.

A special note, my brother Robert was hospitalized yesterday...nothing life threatening, just for some tests, but keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Okay, Amomancer out and off to bed (actually to chill with some light TV before seeking the embrace of dreams)...by the way, I look forward to seeing some of you tomorrow night at the Malt on The Mon fundraiser for the Appalachian Education Initiative. Note that one of the items in their silent auction will be an autographed copy of THE COMPLEAT PANTHER CYCLES.

EJ, thanks for the words about the Great Muse Controversy. I respect the work you've done.

Invoking a Phoenix

I love what you've done to your hair
and there is nothing about you I do not delight in.
Perhaps the silence when you sleep
that sweeps me away from you to distant sphere.
Where you are not. Not smiling soft
to draw aloft my spirits when I need your reassurance
that all is well and welcome in this time,
the prime of all my passion and my hopes fulfilled.


William F. DeVault. all rights reserved.