Malt on the Mon?

I got a brochure in the mail the other day, an invitation if you will, from the Appalachian Education Initiative, that group that put me in their book "Art&Soul" (if you're a newcomer to this blog or me, that's a book they put together that profiles "50 outstanding creative artists" from the State of West Virginia...it's pretty cool company to keep, with people like Homer Hickam, Don Knotts, Kathy Mattea, Jennifer Garner, Paul Dooley, Soupy Sales, Chris Sarandon and Lawrence Kasdan in the mix)...

Anythewaywhooey...I was one of the few who were present for the official launch in Charleston, attended by Gayle Manchin, the wife of Governor Joe Manchin (who is being bandied about as a posible running mate for Hillary Clinton in 2008...he's young, from a state the Dems should have carried and didn't, fiscally conservative and pro-life. Pretty much a wet dream for the Presidential undercard. If he does run, if they do win, I want amn invite to read at the Inaugural). It was a pretty nice press conference, although embarrassingly underattended by the media. For those of you unfamiliar with the media in this state, they pretty much set their own agenda and decide what is news. Signing another steroid-laced high school kid to a local college to play third string placekicker is 100-clumn inches, with photos. Landing on the moon or curing cancer? No so much.) The food was aggravating at the soiree, though...I was on a diet and they had your basic brownies and cookies. I digress. More caffeine, please. For more information on that get-together, check back a few weeks in this blog.

Okay. Focus.

Malt on the Mon. Yeah, anyway. During Arts Week, which I will be speaking at on Wednesday, August 17th (I had asked for the 16th, as that is my birthday, but I was told someone else already had that...or maybe there is some other purpose in giving me that Wednesday, I dunno...) AEI will be holding a fundraiser, specifically on Friday the 19th, called "Malt on the Mon"...alliterative, no? What is it? Glad you asked. It's a scotch-tasting party on a boat on the Monongahela River (some ideas, regardless of whether they are good or bad, you just wonder how they were conceived, you know?)

I hadn't heard of it before. I skimmed the pretty card and made note of a couple of points. One being the $50 per couple price tag, so I suppose I was being asked to pay to taste scotch. Mmmmm...yeah. Me. Lifelong teetotaller. Drug and Alcohol Resource Specialist to schools in California. Not really my thing.

But then I saw the list of selling points and one was that it would be attended by some of the honorees from the "Art & Soul" book. I'm not sure which ones, they didn't say...I know three others will be speaking that week, at a minimum...as I am part of a 4-pack of speakers they are sponsoring in for Arts Week. (Maybe sponsoring in is a strong phrase...I've been told if I show up at 7 on Wednesday, I can talk for an hour...it's not a paying gig and so far I've not seen the promotional material...so I don't know how I'm being portrayed. I just know expectations are pretty low for anything other than a curious homeless person or two to attend my reading...I hope to confound the living crap out of them all.) Maybe this is their clumsy way of letting me know it will be going on and to attend. Maybe this is their way of saying "Yes, the Nobel Committee did give you the medal, sir, but you will be expected to pay your own airfare to the ceremonies". Myabe I just find this more ironic than most would.

But me? I would attend if invited in my capacity as "honoree"...but for me to pay $50 to stand around with an empty glass is a little out there, no? The last time I paid $50 for a party with an open bar it was the legendary Writers Party I hosted at the Algonquin Hotel in New York in September of 1995. And I wasn't there for the booze. Meow. Purr.

Have a great day. Me, I have to figure out what I'm going to wear to my reading...I'm considering unveiling a whole new public persona. And I just grew my 'tail back.