Wednesday...afternoon?

Yeah, I didn't post this morning...fighting...well, fighting the demons. I always win, but sometimes it is more taxing than others.

Finally put "The Morgantown Suite Poems" to bed. aigh. that was a sprint...I had to get it all wrapped today, so I just put my head down and kept going. I feel bloodied and beaten by the process...but that's usually true of giving birth (wait until July...The Compleat Panther Cycles are already burning me like twelve molar acid...I have no doubt that, without an "anchor" I will be barking mad by mid July. I'll bounce back...it just isn't going to be much fun).

Got a kick out of listening to my niece, Crystal, as a web radio DJ...she is known as "the Enforcer" on www.freakradio.net. Let her know I sent ya.

I remember, quite vividly, an incident from when I was about ten...I was lost in the woods near my Aunt Bernice's farm and, on finding my way back to the house, ended up on the wrong side of the creek that flowed by. I knew I could easily jump it, but I became so stressed at the thought of not making it that I sailed fair short of the 3 foot width and went to my knees in the mucky cold water...this from a guy who jumped 16 feet in phys ed class with no more of a run. I know if I hesitate, I am not at my best. Too often I have allowed my baggage, be it emotional or personal, to interfere. It's time to get to work.

Fear is the great disabler. I have to be resolute for the next several months...put all doubts, all distractions, aside. I know what I am capable of, I know what I have accomplished in the past. Let's lock and load...let's hit the road with all rockets firing, desiring naught but what we know we can achieve...everything...hmmm, sounds poetic.

I need to get final intros from Barb and Tag, try to close the deal with the yet-unnamed model I am trying to get to be the cover (trust me, she's worth the effort...but I don't want to leak her name yet, in case it doesn't go through)...and finish my annotations. The model is my main concern right now...the mock up of the cover I did dropped jaws on almost everyone I test marketed it with...(one gentleman reported that he was struck sightless and speechless by it)...I am going to get surgical on this volume. If you think I have been a perfectionistic prick before now...I am focusing my mindset as if this will be the last time I am certain I will have voice in this life, and this is my legacy (truth be told, you never know, my health is both the best and worst it has ever been)...I have to run at the edge of the water as if my life depended on it.

I thought, briefly, earlier today that it is a shame that Ann isn't in on this...she would've made both an excellent and ironic model for the cover (as the third of the panthers, the golden one, and with an intro by the crimson panther...the circle would have been complete). One of the advantages of having one of the most stunning looking women in the world involved in your work and anxious for you to succeed is the resource they bring to the mix. Plus, it would be nice if she got some of the glory and gain from these projects, she's been through a lot and deserves some satisfaction from the fates. I want everyone to win.