awake and blinking at the clouds

Well, again, the massive thunderstorms sweeping our area for the fifth day in a row are...not here...

sigh.

I like chaos in my weather. I used to love to go to Joshua Tree and wander in the desert, contemplating everything and nothing at once...but even more, I loved standing near the base of the Morongo Valley during the Santa Ana winds...absorbing the energy as the hot blasts poured in off the desert, making me feel like some great receptacle of energy, like invisible lightning was filling me with power.

No wonder I have withered in ages recent. I have been drained, blasted by unworthy winds and then sandblasted until only the white bones remain, vaguely aware of who I am and what I am doing where I am. I need to jack back in...perhaps I can get there this fall, when I am touring, and drink it all in again.

That could be dangerous. In a good way. I'll probably never want to leave again. I made that mistake once.

I am healing. And, I have found, my scar tissue is generally healtier than my original skin. God has a twisted sense of humour, but it delights me, nonetheless. And every day I am grateful for this life.

Gotta go hit the shower, would hate to stink my students out of class.