a binary question or two

I had a philosophical discussion with an old friend the other day, which boiled down to a binary question (one for which there are only two answers):

"Would you rather be lied to or lied about?"

I found myself in that dilemma, once, that I am aware of...and found myself more offended at being lied about (blundered upon the situation and was flabbergasted). Although lying to someone can be interpreted as disrespectful (and just plain wrong) sometimes the motives are understandable (still wrong, but we accept "wrong" conduct from others everyday with rationalization...lying, speeding, gossiping, spackling with toothpaste, stealing pens from work, and the list goes on...most lies I have found msyelf telling over the years have been lies assigned to me by others. Somehow people feel when you do the dirty work at their request, they are clean...it starts with "tell them I've already left"). Hey, look, I just rationalized!

Being lied about, well that complicates your universe, because now there's at least one person (and likely more) out there who thinks they know something, and are wrong. And what they are wrong about may impede your ablity to function in society, as the lie gets propogated and takes on a perception of reality, like a mantra.

I am always more bothered at the notion of sincere ignorance than insincere deceit.

My friend said he felt he was more bothered at being lied to. I told him to go ponder this as, if someone lies to you, you might start to doubt everything they tell you...but if they lie about you, you might have to doubt everyone else in the world, their actions, thoughts and motives. Would you rather have a paper cut or be run through a shredder?

My favourite binary question has always been "Would you rather be perceived as incompetent or evil?"

A few years back a few of my friends and I conducted an unscientific survey and found that, for the most part, males would rather be perceived as evil, women as incompetent (repeat, this was unscientific). The irony in all of this is that there is little difference between the two, in my worldview. An incompetent person makes mistakes. An evil person makes mistakes, then takes pride in them to save their ego. The errors are often of little variance in and of themselves.

That's right, children, we are all incompetent to some degree or another, the difference between human failing and sociopathic tendencies is pride. I viewed the results of our survey as just one more evidence that women have their heads on much straighter than men, for the most part.

Just remember, as said in simpler times, you can't trust a man who won't cry or a woman who won't blush.