Cats, Cuts and Amomancers

Yusef Islam, formerly known to the world as Cat Stevens, wrote some remarkable songs, some of which influenced my life profoundly, particularly "But I Might Die Tonight" which was introduced to me by my first lover, Psyche.

But in time I have come to truly be touched by his work "The First Cut is the Deepest"...at this moment I am listening to it for about the hundredth time in various versions (I prefer the a'capella version done by Terence Trent-D'arby a few years back, my second favourite being the author's own, which is right now playing.)

It speaks to me, to my life, to my doubts...

"I would have given you all of my heart,
but there's someone who's torn it apart.
And she's taken almost all that I've got,
but if you want, I'll try to love again.

Baby, I'll try to love again,
but I know
the first cut is the deepest.
Baby, I know
the first cut is the deepest.

Cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed,
when it comes to loving me she's worst
but when it comes to being loved, she's first
that's how I know
the first cut is the deepest."

Why do I find this so inspiring? Well, it dead on describes most of my romantic relationships.

And, in that, there's a reassurance. Here's a man I've never met, who lives an ocean away from me and he knows the exact situation I've found myself in. I must not be the only fool who erred in loving too well someone whose greatest bond to me was that she loved herself ahead of me, as well.

Wow. Epiphany. I've walked out of these debacles before...and will again, if need be. I know I have that strength, and I promise both my audience, who depends on me to be strong and vulnerable, and whoever it is, waiting for me, out beyond the farthest pillars, that I will love again.

"I still want you by my side
just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
cause I'm sure gonna give you a try
and if you want, I'll try to love again.

Baby, I'll try to love again,
but I know
the first cut is the deepest.
Baby, I know
the first cut is the deepest.

Cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed
when it comes to loving me she's worst
but when it comes to being loved, she's first
that's how I know
the first cut is the deepest."

You know what? The second cut is pretty deep, too. And the third. The fourth. The fifth hit bone, but I learned how not to scream that time.

The sixth? We'll see, because she's out there tonight. Maybe she's someone I already know. Maybe she's even a former lover who will re-enter my life and I'll accept her back in. Maybe she's someone who, at this very moment, is unknown to me and I to her. She may be a college student who has read all my books, or a divorced mother of three who doesn't have time ro read. She may be black, or white, or any of the other pigments God put in His palette. She may be rich or poor, at the top of her game or still trying to get into the stream of life. But I know she's out there.

I got room for more scars, and a heart willing to heal.

That's why I'm the Amomancer.

And that's why I respect Yusef Islam. As an artist and a man.

Note: Lyrics above are his and I'm not trying to jack them...not even sure they are 1000% accurate, I just listened to the song and wrote what I thought I heard.

Check out my website at CityOfLegends.com (yes, that's a link, use it...now) over the next few days, some new stuff going to be arriving that will blow your mind.