acknowledging the pain

In the midst of all the hoo-ha and marketing thunder, I wanted to take a moment and apologize to those who may feel a bit marginalized by the attention this book (THE COMPLEAT PANTHER CYCLES) is getting, or its very existence. To Jan, Peri, Dante, Elric, Ann and those friends who may feel that I am somehow celebrating their pain that came through this relationship or these works, I do understand your pain and accept with great sorrow my hand in it.

Infidelity is not to be celebrated. Part of the lesson of The Panther Cycles is that all actions of the human heart carry prices, and that we are not alone in paying those prices. Yes, I have to say that more than anyone I have suffered for my follies, and I resent it when those who have suffered less want to moan about their pain when I am have been struck down (indeed, I have yet to find anyone in this life whose first question is "How are you doing?"...I feel a strange connection to the lead charactr in "American Beauty" when towards the end of that amazing film he is asked how he is doing and he realizes no one has asked him that question in a long time, everyone is too busy with their own concerns).

It has been my good fortune to be able to make art from all that is my life, the good and the bad, and I would be a poor steward of the talents given me by the Almighty if I didn't try my best to use those talents in the most earnest and productive manner. That's not blaming God for my mistakes, but stating why I am making these choices. But these are still my choices.

I am "taking penance given, every mile" to quote the poet.