Jaz and the Alien Pajama Party

Some of you may have noted my absence a few days ago, and I owe you all an honest explanation.

Truth is, last weekend, Jaz was kidnapped by space aliens. It was rough for a few days, but I had posted an offer to exchange Venus Butterfly lessons for aliens in exchange for passage on a UFO and got lucky pretty quickly.

It took a few hours, but we eventually tracked down the Andromedans who'd jacked Jaz...but by the time I caught up with them, it was too late. She'd got them to throw an intergalactic pajama party and they were all having a great time.

I entered the zero-gee chamber to find a chaos of dozens of female gendered aliens of various races, as well as my own Jaz, floating around a tri-v system, watching "The Notebook", "Love Actually" and a Tau Ceti 6 soft core comedy about three Glarks in love with the same Fnarg.

They were eating massive amounts of ice cream, especially rocky road and gloackoberry ripple. There was a pillow fight in constant effect that had filled the air with the tufted nad feathers of the red-toothed bohabba bird. And there was a terrarium filled with Northern California crabcakes, barking at the action in their peculiar lisping bark, immortalized in my poem "Northern California Crabcakes and their Peculiar Lisping Bark".

Jaz saw me right away and launched a sporkful of the rocky road ice cream in my general direction to get my attention. There were a lot of others in the room, so I launched myself off of one of the pillars and did a pretty good three-carom shot off various walls and fixtures to land near her.

We spoke briefly and she wanted to hang out and chill with the aliens, who were having a spontaneous burping contest later that Jaz felt she had an excellent chance to win since the only real competition was a Pluvian snossbinder named Leah, who was halfway into her bluffbeer and thus would probably not be able to get sufficient volume without wetting herself, which amongst snossbinders can cause spontaneous combustion.

So I caught a freighter back via Proxima Centauri, trading tissue samples for spacefare and made it back by Wednesday (thank you, timelords). I heard from Jaz earlier today and the party is still going on. She didn't promise she'd be back right away or even soon, but I promised her I'd hang out and wait. She did encourage me to let you all know the true story (which is actually much longer and more complicated than all of this, but what can I say?)

So, there you have it, the full and true story of most of what was wrong with this week. Oh, and Jaz looked great in the black silk pajama pants and the hnakra-skin camisole. Yum.