Monday, January 01, 2007

Centaur

A new work came to me as I woke this morning, in fits and fistulas, demanding I serve it and the muse that inspired it. I could do no less. Once written, I saw it could use voice, so I sat down at the Mac Mini and laid down my own techno track for it, then recorded the poem itself. The vocal track was one take, the balancing of the synthesizer took several passes on the engineering side.

The poem itself, is entitled "Centaur", and while it is of and for Jaz, it hearkens back to the old "Goldeheart Cycles", where my appearances in those works were often portrayed as that of a centaur, half-horse and half-man and known to be great mentors, amongst other things.

To hear the recording of this work, mere minutes old at the time of this posting, you have but to click this link to listen to 'Centaur'. For the text of this poem, read on...

Centaur

let me walk to the horizon
with you there by my side
I'm not looking to play martyr
to some self-consuming pride.

I would ask you many questions
and answer all you dare.
I will smile at life's imperfections
as you brush aside you hair.

there are places on this highway
better spanned by teams of two,
and I am just to thinking
what it would be like, with you.

let me walk to the horizon
with you there by my side
I've got gas enough for miles to go
if you come along for the ride.

I've got baggage by the bushel
as I know you've got as well,
I can't promise you good weather
but I'd walk with you through Hell.

dreams of the damned and dramas
are better lived in lover's arms
where you're shielded from the fire
by my passion and cast charms.

let me walk to the horizon
with you there by my side
let us sleep in fields grown feral
where no hunger is denied.

let me walk to the horizon
with you there. by my side

William F. DeVault. all rights reserved.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I like the nrg.

Anonymous said...

What does a woman have to do to inspire beauty like this?

God, I want to be loved like that.
~A

Serious question. Do men really want women to initiate things? I've always waited for a man to show me and tell me he wants me. If a man is shy, is a woman really supposed to be blatent about wanting him?

I am an idiot.

William F. DeVault said...

Trust me, not all women want to be loved like that, in my humble opinion. Some may think they do, but if my experience is any indication, women rarely want the gods of love or princes of passion, preferring someone more suitable to their battered self-esteem (I have often thought that men grind women's self-esteem down to keep them in play).

You're an idiot? Then I am the king of fools. I am always in pursuit of the unattainable, seeing the truth, the beauty, in women who cannot accept it in themselves. They either do not believe their value, or accept it for a season then fall into the patterns of self-criticism that our society has forced upon them, becoming angry at me for opening their eyes to a greater beauty they feel is beyond their reach.

But, I follow the dictates of my heart, not anyone else's agenda. I still believe in the dream, but I live in the reality my mistakes have damned me to...knowing that eventually I will be set free, by love or death.

How's that for a confession?

And, I cannot speak for all men, merely for myself...I gave up a long time ago trying to figure where the waters are welcoming, instead choosing the path I want to walk and praying I meet a friendly response.

If not, I dust myself off, bind up my wounds...and travel on down the road, held in the embrace of the knowledge that my principles, if not my heart, are intact.

Anonymous said...

I do trust you. That is why I asked.

You are not the king of fools.
You have had difficult matches. Every relationship takes two. If even one person in the relationship is unhappy, both are to blame.

Sometimes one person is more to blame than the other, but both people have failed each other.

I Believe in love. I also believe it takes a supreme amount of care and attention to detail to keep it alive. If both people want it, they can and do maintain it. They do not give up when faced with obstacles.

How blatently friendly do the waters have to be? I honestly want to know. I was told yesterday that I needed to stop living in the 17th century. That I was too difficult to read and that men were constantly feeling rebuffed by me.

What EXACTLY are the signals a woman is supposed to display if she is open for skinny dipping?

This is a new year. I'm tired of sleeping with my principles. Principles are a cold,hard surface to sleep upon.

I wasn't asking for a general opinion of male behavior. I was asking for your specific input. I am not "women in general" either. I am a woman who will never be satisfied with anything less than a god of love or a prince of passion. A singular love. Any thing less would be a waste of my time and energy.

I am an idiot sometimes, but I know my heart, I know who I am and I know what I want.

William F. DeVault said...

The view from 10,000 feet:

Every person reads differently, there is no universal language. It is tough and often a waste of time, even after a long and surgical courtship. You just have to keep trying new things until something works.

I'm not a psychiatrist, merely a man with a sometimes respected gift for thinking out loud when I feel a stirring in my heart. To apply what I know or say or do universally is to say we are all the same, which would be naive and unproductive, like those who watch Dr, Phil and think he is anything other than a buffoon jury consultant who saved Oprah's fortunes.

People are people. Archetypes are rare. Generalizations are not only ignorant, they are of questionable morality, as they create prejudices.

Love is worth the overtime. I've been there, before, and recall the colour of the skies and the scent of the blossoms and the texture of the wind. But no man or woman can tell me my heart, only yes or no to my suit.

That is the essence of true romanticism. No compromise. No shortcuts. The necessity of belief in self and the notion that you bring to the other person not what you want to give, but what they want from you.

C.S. Lewis took the position that most mortals are failed experiments, as they could not reach moral sentience. I believe that most mortals are failed experiments because they give up on love and apply the name as a blasphemy to something else, codependency or lust or momentary friendship.

As we speak my passions, my thoughts, are bound up in trying to untangle the path to Jaz's heart of hearts. I have no relevant advice for you, as you are a different person than I or the lady, and are outside of my sphere. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Beautifully stated.
Your input is always valued. And I repeat.
God, I want to be loved like that.
As always,
Thank you.

For you, and for Jaz, I hope you will untangle the path to her heart, and live happily ever after.
From what I've read, you both deserve happiness. Thank you, as always, for the inspiration. This is how love was meant to be.

Copyright © William F. DeVault | All Rights Reserved