K said I should
I had a nice chat with K this afternoon.
Oh, you know K, she's the old and mutual friend of Jaz and mine. She's deranged, but very wise and an excellent BS detector, a good sounding board (and, I hear, a wonderful dancer).
She asked me how I was doing, with the attention I'd been getting lately from my readers (trust me, you only see the tip of the iceberg here). I told her it was a bit disconcerting, sort of like the old Panther days, when the radiance of my passion and affection for one woman drew moths to the flame, cluttering the line of sight.
I told her I should just state emphatically to the world where I stand (which I would think is incredibly obvious to all but the most superficial of readers).
K said I should.
She's right you know. K's always right (except about politics, but I can forgive that).
But.
But, it is scary. To step out and off the ledge, throwing myself into the abyss. I know I will survive the fall, but the descent is still painful and terrifying. I don't much like either sensation, despite the surety of my durability. To place my trust and faith and dreams in the hands of one woman.
I've done it before and found myself, weeks or months or even years later, eviscerated by the jagged, ragged rocks of failed hope and shallow hearts. I am not a masochist. But faith is a powerful lure. Faith in a religion I myself am considered both a high priest and a heretic in, that of love.
So, let me state here, emphatically, that I am resigned and designed upon the heart and whims of Jaz. Read my works and listen to my recordings to your heart's content, knowing that it is to her, of her and for her that I write and I create. She is the mother of my thoughts, but my pen is the womb of this expression of affection.
That was every bit as scary of an admission as I thought it would be. Cross your fingers.
30 comments:
K sounds like an excellent wingwoman, who would understand that she could never replace sweet memories or excellent wingmen.
You should probably pay more attention to her. She may retain a miniscule amount of diva in her bloodstream.
-Just a tip, from your AmigA
How long do you this one will hang onto you before either she gets stupid or finds somone easier to get along with? And that's assuming she'll have you in the first place.
I'm not saying she shouldn't take you on, it will give her fond memories to look back on one day when she's kicking herself, but any reader of your works knows you are not a normal person, but something more epic than most people can handle. That's great for the readers, but lousy for any woman not ready and willing to be a goddess or already one in her own right.
You live in the eye of a firestorm, poet. Get used to being alone.
I don't doubt your affection, you passion, even your love for this Jaz, but most people can't handle being loved at the level you love.
-V
Well, I'm not sure I understand what A said, and V...that was a bit harsh. If I had to go through life with that worldview I'd really have to consider a lobotomy or suicide.
'A' can be a little cryptic, but I've met her. She is a little shy; she also has a sense of humor.
She may also be acquainted with K. K told both A and J that they would be unbelievably and tragically stupid not to welcome you with wide open arms.
Fond memories are nice, but they don't keep you warm on chilly winter nights.
I've heard all three J,A,&K , get really REALLY bored with normal people, and have been looking for an epic man FOREVER.
I suspect all three of the aforementioned women are drawn to firestorms, and quite frankly welcome the opportunity to be handled, whoops, a slip there,
(I meant to handle) being loved at the level of this man, this poet, this philosopher, this god of love.
~from A very good and well meAning friend.
P.S. 'V', you sound a bit bitter and viperish I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Bitterness can eat you alive, be good to yourself.
BTW, all women are goddesses, sometimes we just forget.
A note to the poet. I was told all three of the ladies you referred to earlier were still working their little tails off, but would enjoy continuing this conversation later this evening, if that would be pleasing to you.
I'll let them know you were talking about them behind their backs, I doubt they'll be anything other than flattered and thrilled.
Ha!
-K
You should always do what K says.
-K
A very Good and well MEaning friend checking back in:
My earlier post did not in ANY way mean to imply that the J,A &K's referred to in several of the aforementioned posts were the same set of J's, A's,and K's to whom the poet had referred. Let's just say, I don't really know JAK. I just have friends, both real and imagined that remind me of parts of this swirling drama.
I would never knowingly crash a party to which I had not been personally invited. Thanks to some good early training, I am also a follower of Miss Manner's doctrine, and would never dream of telling another woman how to comport herself. It simply is not my place, nor is it of interest to me. I hope I did not offend you earlier, 'V", I was very busy when I dashed off my earlier note. No cattiness was intended. Well, maybe a kittenish amount, but I am now sorry to have been so abrupt with you. It was rude of me, and I apologise most sincerely.
The most important lesson Miss Manners taught, in my humble opinion, is to treat others the way you would want to be treated. In this day and age of cultural diversity, it is also sometimes preferable to treat others how THEY would want to be treated. This requires some research, and patience.
Thank you very much, stepping down off my soapbox in the middle of St. James' now.
Oh. And another thing, most women do not appreciate being scorned or have it implied that they are deranged. It is a technique that has been used for ages to keep women "in their places." If I were K, loving you the way a good friend ought, I would slap you, (Gently, of course) give you a great big kiss and a hug, and then quietly and patiently explain why it is best not to ever lose faith in a friend who loves you.
Good Luck and God Bless
A remarkable evening. Quite.
My turn? Frankly, Phillip, it's a tangle...oops, wrong speech.
I trust K's instincts (the real K, not some illusory version) and I do not think she'd encourage me to leap headfirst to an assured doom.
As for Jaz? She is either won or yet to be won. In either case, the wind whistles by me and the sky is as sweet an ocean of dreams and prayers and thoughts and hopes and fears as I ever knew.
Anyone else's thoughts? Largely irrelevent. V? If you are whom I think you are, I appreciate the sage words of advice, but you were always better in bed than in my head...I will always respect the choice what you made and adore you, but perhaps I have found one who can and dares to be more than an icon.
It would be nice to think so. Ever see the movie "Murphy's Romance"?
- William F. DeVault
Frank, Phillip, John, Jack? What is going on this morning? Making an Earnest alphabet soup of letters and names. The farciness -a new word I made up-
is making me dizzy.
I should probably rest, go Lie on/in winter's gate. Win Ter's gate is in my garden, it's where I go for solace. I am confused, and possibly deranged, unfortunately I have a meeting that commences in twenty-five minutes, so I'll need a minute to absorb the latest news.
WHenry I return, I hope to be less foggy from sleep?
I'm Wilde about this stuff.
Lovely poems these days
A fan of kAte,and goddesses and ONE hmmhandsome poet
I DID see Murphy's Romance at the Cinemascope, many years ago. I liked it.
Greetings from a very long lost friend. Though I haven't spoken to you in much too long, I
hope this finds you well and looking forward to beginning a new chapter in your life. Hopefully a less complicated, more meaningful, but still very very exciting and productive one for you.
Your new muse, the one you call Jaz, sounds lovely, and I hope you will find comfort and joy and a new delight in life together. If she is worth the beautiful words you've written about her, I imagine that you have nothing to fear in seeing where this leads. The only thing you have to fear is fear itself, remember?
I can only imagine that while Jaz might enjoy a bit of fun, is most likely a lover of the universal power of literature, that she, at heart, would like nothing better than to sit down next to you and be quiet for a while. I'm not sure I've ever met her, but your recommendations make her sound like an appealing match, for you, indeed.
I thought that you might enjoy this review of Murphy's Romance http://www.dvdverdict.com/reviews/murphysr.php
I always liked that story. Wasn't there a really tender dancing scene in that movie? I haven't seen it in a long time.
Anyway, my dear friend, thanks as always, for your inspiration. I'm not sure you realize the powerful effect you have on your readers. You give the gift of hope, and belief in the goodness of love every time you write a poem, or post a blog. I haven't seen one yet today.
Thinking of you, and, as always, wishing you the best life has to offer, wherever that may lead you. Call me sometime, if you still have my number. I'd love to hear how this romance of yours unfolds.
-Alisa
I <3 K
This should resolve any furthur confusion over who is J and who is K. Maybe the posers can go have some tea and crumpets.
-K
What-the-hell-ever!
LOL,
because the farce is such a very, very funny art form.
Not for the faint or feint of heart.
Ta.
BTW-Tea and Crumpets are at four, tarts included.
Strumpets discouraged.
It must be delicious and slightly flattering for the poet to read all of this interest about himself. Tiring though, and maybe he needs some quiet so that he can work.
I'm off, to do my own thing. Clever people, reading this blog. Hearwarming, a little.
"Strumpets discouraged"
I'm sorry that you won't be able to attend.
Hey! Some of my fondest memories are of strumpets. With jam and a little jasmine tea, very filling.
~"jkoffs" That isn't a very kind way to refer to yourselves, by the way.
RE: RSVP/Atten-dance-
But how do you know I'm NOT a discouraged strumpet?, and that I haven't already attended a tea party or two, in my mind anyway? Hmmmm? Don't forget to remove your gloves when you're the guardian of the teapot.
Otherwise, it can get very, uhm messy.
Mr. DeVault,
You are so wise. Tea and Crumpets ARE filling, and can be very good for you too-in moderation. It is always good to know what you've got on your plate, athough it can take some time to choose the right morsel for your refreshment.
~A sweet tArt
You might consider having a tea party at your next reading. I'll bet your body of work would SAIL off the sales charts. Hmmm.
Exactly how does one have a tea party in their mind? Do they serve nuts?
We can serve Biscuits and Gravy instead, if that's more your taste.
~J
No J, I think she prefers big sausages.
-K
Gravy is nice.
Not to be greedy, but my big sausage is on reserve.
Careful! JKoffs, you are causing hard cider to spurt out of my upturned little nose. IF I were to have a teaparty, and IF I were to invite two such clever ladies as J and K, I would have it outside, on a fine spring day.
Dress code would be come as you are, and even though some would consider it impolite, I would ask you nicely to bring your delicious biscuits and gravy. As long as I knew they weren't laced with something evil. Red or White gravy? Would you cut your biscuits with a biscuit cutter, an old jar or a tin can? I like the tin can ones.
I'm not sure I'd invite you, I am wary of high drama. Teaparties ought to be comfortable, they are more fun that way.
And yes, I make it a point to include nuts. Check your mailbox.
You have something brown on your upturned little nose. Might want to take care of that.
-J
Oh, how kind. Thank you for telling me about it.
You are sweet, after all.
It must have occurred while following along behind you,
and the road apples you left in your wake.
Appreciate your efforts to be thoughtful.
It must be very difficult. Funny all I've been able to see of you has been your flank side.
I wonder what you'd look like if you were to turn yourself around.
Gittiup!
You're Welcome.
And you are welcome to.
Need go dress down my horse.
It is never a good idea to be rode hard, and put away wet, as they say.
Oh, and thanks again for the brown nose comment,
I checked on my way out the door, and it was actually Godiva.
You should get some too, all good girls deserve a little sugar and spice now and then.
Have fun with your evening-I'm off to play darts. Real ones.
What, exactly, am I welcome to?
Shhhh. Silence speaks volumes.
Shhh, shhh, silence is golden.
Hush now,
you are welcome to a quiet evening.
You are welcome.
Now go to sleep, sweet dreams, get some rest.
Everyone is all tuckered out.
Good night, good knight.
Write a poem in your head as you are drifting off. Sweet dreams, now.
Lord, save me.
Shh.
Why aren't you sleeping?
Did you have sweet dreams?
Shhh, shhh giggle
Don't you have to be up early tomorrow?
The sun'll be coming up before you know it.
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