a hundred vectors at once

I am like a trapped animal, pacing in the cage, when I am compartmentalized. I've been in this sort of cage before. I don't like it. It diminishes me, not as an entity, but as someone who desires to be able to do what is necessary when it is necessary.

Removing options only antagonizes me. I am a natural worrier. When someone isn't where they said they'd be, or when they don't check in when they said they would, I go to Defcon 5, bracing for Gotterdamerung. It's a survival instinct.

Snarl.

I'll be fine, just itchy for a bit. Trying to distract myself.

I have to go check in with Tag for a bit, then finish the work on "Slitoris".

I listened to the final cuts of "Playing with Fire" and "Long Stemmed Jasmin" just a few minutes ago. I don't know about the normal readers and listeners, but they are both striking works in their own rights.

High points? The transition from the strings to the rock organ just before my voice kicks in on "Jasmin". And just about everything about "Playing with Fire". It may be a little underproduced, a little too raw...depending on my voice instead of the engineering tricks I've come to rely on...but maybe it was time.

Oh, and lots of cowbell.