tightening my clockwork knife*

I need to spend less time listening to looped music I've constructed for my lyrics...too emotionally draining. I can manipulate my moods with the music, and thus it is very addictive, dangerously so...I have never been addicted to the poetry, it is a part of me, not an outside force...but the music, very dangerous.

I stopped by to see a friend at work today, let him know that I'd taken his words to heart and would be, in my own circumspect and possibly futile and misunderstood way, asking out the lady in question...he all but lit a fire under me over her last week, he could see that I was interested in her, but my inner coward was winning the battle. I need to take action...

I think I shall go to B&N tonight for a final recon before the event on Saturday. I need to unwind...before I start biting people. A side effect of the adrenaline before the read seems to be a major rush of testosterone. A shame I don't have a lover to share it with at this time, so I need to be careful not to get too "raging in a cage". I can end up shifting into a mode of emotion wherein the id becomes dominant and my instinctive reactivity becomes almost inarticulate.

Major book news coming up the end of this week...major, effecting most of my catalog. I believe it is a sign of a sea change, a major flow in the currents of my books.

These are exciting times. And I haven't even put the boat in the water yet...the Pillars of Hercules, and beyond, await.

* a reference to my poem "The Darker Angels" from "from an unexpected quarter"