of fallen and falling angels

"of fallen and falling angels". Just a poem I wrote in 2005. Just a song on my upcoming "Nemicorn" CD.

That's crap.

I just listened to it. Listened to it. It's a message from my preconscious, an emotional series of jabs designed to dance me into the corner for my own uppercut. Staggering, once I pierced the imagery, which should have been far more obvious to me.

"the shattered glass leaves fractured face
as witness to this crack'd sphere."

She was and is beautiful, last I saw of her, even with the scar from the auto accident on her cheek. The crack'd sphere is a reference to my conceit, the faceted sphere, in which all possibilities are met.

"we place our bets on cold disgrace
and shed the patronizing tear."

Cowardice never won a heart.

"so we are pierced or cut or bent,
to make a sport for others' glee."

There are those who root for you to fail. They need you to fail, otherwise the nothing of their lives becomes even more apparent.

"their sin, for which - we - then repent
with broken heart on bended knee. "

How often have I worked penance for friends and lovers for the evils of others? Cleaning up the damage of childhood abuse, rape, various traumas, as I seek to find peace for my own failings?

"the healing hands cannot connect
and words cannot pass through the shell
of withered joy and crushed respect
that bricks us up inside this hell."

In the end, you can't help those who are so damaged that your words, even your actions, are viewed with ignorance, even suspicion. I really like my tone of voice during those last few lines. Malevolent, angry. Channeling something testosteronal.

"we pass along the bitter gall
that tastes of shadows in the night.
and bound are we to rise and fall
in seeking out the morning's light. "

We all want to make it until the dawn. We will have out successes and failures on this road. We will regret some of our decisions, made in the darkness. It is inevitable.

"with time and luck and patience, yet,
we may arise in moult of flame
to spread our wings and shed regret
and dare, again, to seek our name. "

Nothing is certain. Love and hope often comes from an unexpected quarter, giving us the strength to rise from our own ashes. We are diverted from our best destinies by distractions that exist both to that purpose and happenstance to the nature of the chaos of the universe.

Don't give up.

Looks like the Actor actually said something profound for once. I believe it was both to me and to the Leopard, and to a friend undergoing some doubt in her life regarding whether or not she would never find love. There are no simple answers to questions of inspiration.

Keep up on the news from Darfur...people dying daily

Oh, and a huge round of applause to David Letterman for calling Bill O'Reilly on his BS. I don't know what's scarier, that a man that full of hatred and deceit can draw an audience, or that he actually thinks he's one of the good guys.