I'm not that easy

A shame I don't track things that far back...just got my weekly FreeFind report (showing what words and phrases people have used to search my website www.cityoflegends.com).

Seems someone is trying to unlock the more evocatively-titled poems in my collection 101 GREAT EROTIC POEMS. Most notably "Twitch Like a Bitch".

You don't think I am that easy, do you?

I didn't think so.

I can be naive, even a bit thick, but with an IQ substantially out of the "normal" range, life experience enough for two of my average readers and an animal cunning that has kep me alive through two marriages and many disasters of the non-marital sort...

I'm not that easy.

I've dodged various attempts to entangle me in new romantic disasters, been in car wrecks that totalled the vehicle I am in, survived some personal scandals, had someone take a shot at me (Churchill was right) and tap danced my way out of many attempts to corner me on political, theological, philosophical and sociological debates by friends, acquaintances and family, and still have most of my brain cells. I still don't drink, still couldn't tell you what it feels like to get high, and my main bad habit is taking on other people's burdens or the blame for same in order to protect them from the consequences of their own stupidity.

I'm not that easy.

With a sex drive that has three gears, all of them that would put a Jaquar XKE to shame, I've stayed a monk for almost three years (although there have been a few close calls) and have written enough works that, if I die tonight, you could put out a book of all new material the size of "The Morgantown Suite Poems" authored by me once a year for the next 200 years. I've dropped 46 pounds in the last 4 months, finished two (2) soon to be published novels and have a screenplay on slow boil.

Sounds like I'm breast beating, hm? Yeah. I guess feeling shot down by my football date made me want to roar defiance at the heavens. I'll shut up now. But...

I'm still not that easy.

(thump) (thump) snarl