finding the shadows and what is inside them

Curiously a random observation off a television program the other night made me realize something about myself, regarding the kind of women who have, historically, caught my eye and inspired my pen.

Dangerous women.  Bad girls.

Not heavily armed psychopaths, but women who are a bit out of control, a bit notorious, a little scary, even, with a dark element.  I look at my history and see women who most caught my attention were those that a lot of people would have considered a risky proposition to approach or engage.  Addicts, exhibitionists, partyers, cutters, women with attitude and an edge.

Now, whether that is out of some misplaced desire to help someone I feel is off the path, or a bit of adrenaline being mistaken for testosterone, or a desire to domesticate a jungle cat, I am not sure.  Some have opined that it isn't I am attracted to them, but they tend to be attracted to me and I accept their interest, as I am the typical love-starved artiste.

But this observation deserves serious scrutiny.