Dinosaurs in the Temple of Aphrodite

I know you have heard me say this before: Patience is the final virtue.

Of course, paranoia comes at the same time, piggy-backing on it to make sure that, while you can wait for something to happen, your imagination plays infinite tricks on you, trying to get you to react.

Patience is a discipline I have not perfected, but I have made great strides over the last several years. That damned imagination gets in the way a lot, much as in Carl Sagan's classic explanation as to why 19th Century scientists thought there were dinosaurs on Venus. It goes something like this:

In the 19th Century we could see only that the surface of Venus was enshrouded in clouds. They are also closer to the Sun, therefore most likely warmer. There was a time in earth's history when Earth was warmer and wetter, during the Age of Dinosaurs. Aha! There must be dinosaurs on Venus.

Observation: We can't see a thing. Conclusion: Dinosaurs.

I was the kind of kid who had trouble sleeping. When there was enough light to see, everything could be a slightly out of focus something ominous. In total darkness I rocked out, imagining all sorts of things that could be sitting or standing or creeping mere inches from me, ready to suck my brain out through my eye sockets.

Yeah, that's part of the reason why I took to lucid dreaming, just to get a handle on my nightmares.

I have learned some balance. I am still easily startled or disoriented when things don't play out the way I anticipate, when someone is not where (or when) I thought they'd be. I don't think ill of them, I just worry that an emergency came up, or they are in peril, or they are playing a joke. Paranoid? Maybe. But since all three have happened to me, on scales you would find astounding, it is the hard lash of experience.

Ever the optimist, I rebound quickly, but that damn imagination waits for the next dark room, the better to conjure the fears, not of a child, but of a man. This ronin is not hesitant to risk or trust, but the scars itch sometimes to remind me that everything is not always as we would hope it would be, and that sometimes, yes sometimes, there are dinosaurs in the Temple of Aphrodite.