My September Itinerary

With some slight application of tongue to cheek and sub-references that would make Dennis Miller proud...my first cut itinerary for my trip to LA for my daughter's wedding....

September 12:

The corpse has left the box. Call out the villagers. Do not talk to strangers on the plane. Do not talk to strangers on the plane. I can see the light. The light is good. Walk into the light.

September 13:

While everyone else is off celebrating my ex's birthday, I am left to my own devices...So I will go to the desert and hold counsel, upon my rock, with my most ancient and excellent sand dragon brothers. I will stand in the Santa Ana Winds and feel the fire in my veins. Too long dead. And yet, not long enough for the purposes of some. I am still alive. And reborn. God smiles.

September 14:

Maybe I'll see someone associated with the wedding, my family or from my former life here, maybe I won't. Maybe I will stand on the beach in Venice and observe the passing of the sky. Maybe I will have dinner that evening with my future in-laws and give Skip a copy of "The Compleat Panther Cycles". Maybe I won't. Maybe an old girlfriend will be in town and demand I spend the night with her. Maybe I will.

September 15:

The rehearsal dinner. Do not talk to strangers. Do not talk to strangers. Strangers are bad. She smiled at me. Don't talk to her. She is bad. Oops, that's my daughter. So that's what she looks like. She's taller than I remember. Who's that guy with her?

September 16:

The wedding. I am to sit quietly to one side while parents point me out to their children as an example of a bad person. I am not to speak unless spoken to by someone I know and they know the code word. I forget the code word and end up spending the second half of the day locked in the bathroom, trying to talk to myself in the mirror, but I get no response. I try to dance with my daughter at the reception, but there is no music and she doesn't know the "Slingo Slingo Slide".

September 17:

I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run. I will not do the Topanga Run.
...The Hell I won't.

Then, find an open mic event and let the dragon loose.

September 18:

The villagers have quit looking for me...I will, under cover of darkness, steal back into my crypt and wait out the next sun rise. This time, sooner, and with the fire restored.