letters I've written, never meaning to send

A long time ago. Yes, a very long time ago, as clock and calendars count. But my soul, my heart, knows no calendar or clock. I was very much in love with a young woman. I have been in love. Indeed, I can earnestly state that I have never fallen out of love. Out of favour, yes. Out of my mind, yes. Out of harm's way, certainly.

But this young woman and I debated the issue of intimacy and I was, hesitant for us to take the final step.

She quoted to me the lyrics of a song by Cat Stevens, "But I Might Die Tonight"...and that song, on contemplation, changed my view. Right or wrong, it was very liberating to me.

For those of you not familiar with this piece, the lyrics are from a young man who is being told to conform to those people around him and to do things the way they say to do them, the way they have always been done...

"I don't want to work away, doing just what they all say..."

I have never been opposed to hard work, often being accused of being a workaholic, but the final stanza struck me hard and set up a vibration that resonates with me to this day...

""Be wise, look ahead,
use your eyes," he said.
"Be straight, think right."
But I might die tonight!"

Things left unsaid and undone haunt any person of conscience or passion or purpose. Yes, I might die tonight without saying "I love you" to my child or my lover, even one thousands of miles away.

I might not jot down that phrase or poem that popped into my head just a moment ago, leaving unsaid the capstone of my career, my existence, as a writer.

Life was not created for cowardice.