The Poet Laureate of...

My good friend and peer, Billy Jones, has just declared himself the Poet Laureate of Greensboro, North Carolina, and issued a call to all poets to claim their turf, to shame cities and states that have not claimed their slice of literary immortality.

I understand, but I've had this whole "Romantic Poet of the Internet" sobriquet for more than a decade, and I am not in a hurry to chain myself to some sodding sod.

I've been called the Poet Laureate of the Internet. But there's about 200,000 other poets out there who claim that title (yeah, I have a better claim on it than most, but why get into that fight?).

I could declare myself the Poet Laureate of Morgantown, West Virginia, but I would rather sit on a couch than burn one.

Venice, California? That's better, but I am sure someone has that title already. Maybe Jim Morrison.

I was once called "the poet Lauri ate"...but that's a great story that isn't fit for the kiddies.

Poet god? Yeah, been called that. Poet King? Yep. Hmmmm...maybe I need a new sobriquet. Something bigger and grander and sexier.

Yeah, sexier sounds good. Would make for some good poetry. Good poetry. I could use a good heroic couplet.