Harry Potter Titles

Time for me to finally tick off all the Harry Potter fans (I actually enjoy the movies and have many close friends who adore them and the books). But just as Tom Swifties were big aeons ago, so do the titles of Harry Potter books invite humour. So...hearkening back to my classic Top Ten Lists I use to do for America Online's infamous Writers Club:

Top Ten Unused "Harry Potter" Titles

10. Harry Potter and the Hairy Mole on Ron's Back
9. Harry Potter and the Crotch of Fire (I understand Lindsay Lohan had a role in that story...)
8. Harry Potter and the Night in a Turkish Prison
7. Harry Potter and the Half-Drunk Stripper
6. Harry Potter and the Jello Shots
5. Harry Potter and the Overly Friendly Hellhound
4. Harry Potter and Goblet of Penicillin
3. Harry Potter and Carol and Ted and Alice
2. Harry Potter and The Search for Spock

and the #1 unused "Harry Potter Title"

1. Harry Potter and the Cease and Desist Order

Thank you. Thank you very much.